Anime and Email Just Don't Mix
by Esme Valentine
Summary: What happens when Akuzmi and Ceres' favorite anime characters read an email to Ceres and get a part in it? Well they found out very embarrasing peices of information Akuzmi's crushes, and Akuzmi gets sweet snow. Oneshot... somewhat.
1. Sweet Snow and Ceres

Disclaimer: WE dont own YH, IY, FY, FB, or whatever else we throw into this story.

Hey, this is SuzakusNoMiko here, and if you've read all of my stories, or just one, you know how obsessive me and Akuzmi can be, you als know who Akuzmi is. Well, this is an e-mail she sent me (we send each other stupid things like this) and she wanted me to add to it, so I have what she wrote and what I added, right now, while I'm writting this. So, now you get to read an Akuzmi/Ceres one-shot, it'll be fun!

Yea, I'm kinda bored now and I haven't read any good InuYasha fanfics recently (they deleted my favorite youXkoga fic!) and I can't review (darn fiction zone rules) so I was curious if you could update soon. Heh...yea now I sound like some fangirl, wait I am! (just not your fangirl)

Koga: Yeah she's MY Fangirl

Tasuki & Jin: WHat happened to us?

Koga: Don't kno, don't care.

Youko: I though she was obsessed w/me...

Koga: Are you saying you want her to be obsessed with you?

Youko: Maybeeee...

Akuzmi: OO ...

Koga: Hey Akuzmi...you in there?

Akuzmi: OO ...

Koga: AKUZMI?

Akuzmi:OO ...

Tasuki: Wow Youko, you stunned Akuzmi stupid.

Akzumi: What? Huh? I heard stupid and my name in the same sentence. Were you guys talking about me behind my back again?

Jin: Of course not, lassy!

Akuzmi: Name's Lexie. L-e-x-i-e. Not lassy, I am not part inu.

InuYasha: Yes you are.

Akuzmi: When the heck did you get here?

InuYasha: I'm in your name so that makes ya part inu.

Akuzmi: Baka inu. Just leave.

Koga: YOU'RE PART INU!

Akuzmi: and kitsune...

Youko: You're part kitsune!

Akuzmi: So's Ceres! So don't kill me!

Tasuki: Any more surprises we should kno about?

Akuzmi: Well...let's see...I'm an uplifting angel, I have a friendly personality, I am an honest warrior, I am a 'tough boy', I am becoming like Tamahome w/my money grubbing abilites, I strongly dislike Miaka Yuki, I think samurai are hot, Kyo's the coolest cat ever, in the Jap. version of YuYu Kurama sounds like a sissy girl and Hiei sounds hot, I secretly wish I could dance, I like to sing but I'm tone deaf, I think brains are cool, bodily fluids and inects don't scare me, I think Nick Stokes, Gill Grissom, and Brown Warik are hot and extremely intelligent, I like school, friends rock, math and science are fun, the sky is blue, and I have dreams about Hiei. (talks really fast after friends rock)

Tasuki: OO

Jin: OO

Koga: OO

Youko: OO

Tasuki: Am I the only one that heard 'tough boy' 'becoming like Tamahome'?

Jin: Did I just hear 'uplifting angel' and 'friendly personality'

Koga: 'I secretly wish I can dance'..what the heck is the world comming to?

Youko: 'SISSY GIRL'?

Akuzmi: Oh did I mention that the sky is blue?

Youko::looks back and reads e-mail: You said Hiei sounds hot...:scrolls down:

OO

Koga: WHat else is there that she said?

Youko: Look :highlights a sentence

:Everyone looks over computer:

Evryone save Akuzmi: 'I HAVE DREAMS ABOUT HIEI'!

Akuzmi::trys to sneak out of room:

Youko::stares her: W-T-F?

Akuzmi: Buh-bye::runs into hiei:

Akuzmi: Hi! bye!

Hiei: Hn, baka onna :AKuzmi runs away:always running form her fears...

Youko: Hiei come look at this :shows him sentence:

Hiei: OO 

Youko: Hiei

Hiei: OO

Youko: Hiei...please come back to this time period.

Hiei: ...

(a/n: what would Hiei say to this? Well, I';m tired so I'm going to bed now. yawn you tell me what happens next and of you haven't already guesed, Ceres, I'm at Stricklands while Hiei reads teh e-mail. Lol I like sweet snow)

(C/N: You know, I ust realized that some of this might be kinda strange or weirding you out right now, the main pairings are approximately as follows. CeresXHiei, CeresXKurama, CeresXSesshomaru, CeresXYouko, CeresXErik(OG), AkuzmiXKurama, AkuzmiXSishi, AkuzmiXJin, AkuzmiXYouko, AkuzmiXKyo, AkuzmiXTasuki. I, Ceres, am being stalked by Raoul le Vicomte de Chagny, and Akuzmi is being stalked by Koga. There is the whole issue of who Kurama is with, because we both like him, she liked him first, but in this she acted so much like herself that she scared him off, so, he's kinda with me, but Youko, being the manfreak that he is, wants both of us... so it's a very strange sitch there.

Hiei: ... That baka.

Youko: is that all you can say when you read something about 'I have dreams about Hiei'?

Hiei: Hn.

Koga: WHy are you even here?

Hiei: CEres is in Memphis, I miss her, so I came here.

Koga: Oh, yeah, Akuzmi did say something about her going ot Mentos.

Youko: when is she getting back?

Hiei: later today, Akuzmi said she'd come with me to pick her up.

Jin: Someone's talkative today.

Hiei::Glares death daggers at Jin:

MEANWHILE

Worker woman: welcome to Strickland's.

Akuzmi: I'll have a cone of your strawberry cheesecake ice cream.

worker woman: okay!

Akuzmi's Cell: Hihi puffy amiyumi show! Hihi puffy amiyumi show!

Akuzmi: Hello.

Ceres: KONICHIWA! HAJIMEMASHITE?

Akuzmi: Umm.. Very good!

Ceres: I just saw Graceland! it was very cool, Elvis didn't kow how to decorate, but I guess that's how it was in the seventies, and he's burried in the backyard. What you up to?

Akuzmi: eating ice cream.

Ceres: Where are the guys?

Akuzmi: at the house, they're on the net

Ceres: So, that's why the all go to your place, it's against da rulz to go online. Da fop (C/N: Da fop is Raoul le Vicomte de Chagny.) abused da net, so it's on da rulz.

AKuzmi: LOL!

Ceres: So, what are they doing?

Akuzmi: REading emails.

Ceres: Ahhh... did you have any dreams about Hiei again?

Akuzmi: Yea, and they found out that I have them. TRAGIC!

Ceres: told ya to leave my man alone! 


	2. Youko Just Possessed Me!

**Disclaimer: We don't own YYH, FB, POTO, IY, or anything else that we make stupid references to. And I don't own this story, it was the brain of Akuzmi, but I did come up with half of the original story line that this goes with when we did our late night summer rps.**

**KK, this is what Akuzmi wrote, this is all her brain from here on out, so have fun!**

Akuzmi: Hey! I'm just going to continue our one-shot...even though one-shots are supposed to be one shots but hey I'm Akuzmi and I bend the rules to my liking so sux to whoever came up with one shots!

Koga: Akuzmi! You're back from Stricklands! I missed you so much!

Akuzmi: St...hey Koga :plasters a smile on her face:

Koga: You smiled at me! Yay:hugs Akuzmi:

Guys walk in

Kurama: (A/n: haha u got pink again!(**C/N: She wrote the letter in color and I'm sooo sad that it isn't in color)** What are you guys doing?

Sishi: Are you two...hugging?

Jin: Koga and Akuzmi! Koga and Akuzmi sitting in a tree! K-i-s-s-i-n-g-! First comes love, then comes marriage then comes the baby in the baby carriage!

Koga: Baby? As in only one?...bummer...

Akuzmi: EWWW! GROSSS! I'M GONNA UPCHUCK:runs to bathroom & proceeds to hurl:comes out of bathroom slightly green: You people make me sick...literally...

Koga: Aw...poor Akuzmi! I kno, I'll give you a hug to make you feel better!

Akuzmi: Eh..no...you just stay as far away from me as frickin' possible! Besides, I've got biology homework to do. :evil grin appears on face: Hey Koga...come here a second please...

Kurama/Wonder what she's going to do.../

Youko inside Kurama's head/I have no clue but she's got that evil look on her face/

Hiei/Hn. Biology...went to Ceres' school. They learned about the 'anatomy' in biology/

Kurama/o0 must have been fun...(sarcastically)/

Youko/Male or female/

Akuzmi/Pervert.../

all of da guys in Kurama's head (poor Kurama)/AKUZMI/

Akzumi/Yes/

Youko/What are you doing in our head/

Kurama/You mean my head/

Hiei/More importantly how are you in his head/

Akuzmi/How are you, Hiei, in Kurama's head/

Youko/You've got a Jagan eye too/

Akuzmi/Heck no...as if I'd want a third eye that I suffer to get put in and not even tell my sibling that I'm their sibling even though I've been waiting all my life to do so and almost allow myself to die in Mukuro's palace after I realize I have no reason to live any longer cough cough Hiei cough cough/

Hiei/I'm going to kill you, onna/

Akuzmi/Take a number/

Kurama/You never answered how you're in my head/

Youko/Do you have any funky way of telepathy a all/

Akzumi/Nope, I just have superior intelligence that I do not let others see very often...only in Bio/

Hiei/Baka/

:long silence:

Hiei/

Kurama/

Koga/

:Koga screams and wakes everyone out of their dazes:

Koga: Akuzmi! Close that book! That's not something good to be looking at!

Akuzmi: It's just the bodily fluids of some random mammal...crap...the picture of the dissection must be in a different book. darn. You're such a sissy...

Koga: How can you say that after you excepted my proposal?

Jin: Akuzmi accepted Koga's proposal?

Akuzmi: HELL NO! He must be confusing reality w/his sick fantasies again...

Kurama:grabs bio book: Hmmmm...brain fluids...memory function...hippocampus...medula ablomgata... frontal cortex...a lot of brain stuff...

Akuzmi: Hey give that back! I was reading on how some guy experimented with all typres of brain function:Kurama holds book just out of Akuzmi's reach 'cuz she's nly 5'6":

Jin: Oh! that's not fair!

Sishi: Now you kno how Hiei must feel.

Akuzmi: Sishi, shut up. Give it back Kurama:jumps to get it but Kurama just lifts it up higher: Fine, I'll just go get my psychology books instead, I mean it's neuro-pysch. there should be the same article in there.

Jin:Party pooper.

Akuzmi: Hn, whatever.:walks down the hall & comes back: Hey I was curious if Kuronue was dead or not, so is he Kurama? (A/n: I cant remember but I think he is)

Youko comes out: Just how the hell do you know about Kuronue?

Akuzmi: What makes you think that I wouldn't know about hot guys with wings?

Youko: That's not funny.

Akuzmi: Aww...poor Youko's mad! Oh well sux to be u! buh-bye!

Youko: Where the hell are you going?

Akuzmi:To Ceres' place. I need to get Ed or Roy or Al to help me w/ a human transmutation so I can bring him back! Or...you could save me the trouble of bothering Ceres and just tell me where he's buried so I can bring him back to life!

Koga: You can bring people back to life?

Akuzmi: I am a healer and I did bring Erik back to life...against my will...only to be killed by Kurama when I wanted to kill him 'cuz I killed him first but no! Ceres just HAD to be his guardian angel!  
As of now I'm tired and I'm going to bed. I have no idea as to how anyone would respond to yet another one of my tirades so have fun with that!

AKUZMI


	3. Rise from the Dead Kuronue! U ruined it!

**Discliamer: Like always we dont own the series we mention, including YYH, IY, and POTO.**

**Now, HEEERREEE'sss AKUZMI!**

Akuzmi: Hi. I'm grounded, first time I'm really not allowed to do anything in my life. I'm extremely irresponsible, so I forgot to call my mom to say that Keli was going to drop me off later. SO I got back two hours late & my cell's been taken away, I wasn't allowed to go to the Freshie Mixer and I'm under house arrest. I cried. First time in years. Haha and over something so stupid and entirely out of my stupidity. I was in my uniform the whole time too, so when I was finally dropped off at the Elms, the dance was actually about to begin. Ha, my crappy luck.

Koga: You were going to a dance? Then if it'll make you feel better, I'll dance with you!

Akuzmi:I'm fine, pissed off, but fine. At least now I'll have time to bring Kuronue back to life.

Koga: You're going to bring another guy back to life? You can do that?

Akuzmi: I don't look strong enough to, but I can. I can either bring the person's soul back or heal their body. I just go unconscious after bringing the person back to life.

Koga: Oh, I think I should get Kurama to 'help' you (really just to dissuade you from bringing someone back to life)

Akuzmi: Too late, I have his body! It's under my bed!

Koga: So that's why your puppy liked being under there. There was a dead bat festering away.

Akuzmi: Screw you.

Koga: Maybe I will...:perverted grin:

Akuzmi:stares at him: W-T-F!

Koga: Ow! Youko possessed me! (C/N: Sry, but I have to say this... THAT'S MY EXCUSE!)That's not fair! What did he make me say?

Akuzmi: Nothing, just nothing. :Pulls a dead Kuronue out from underneath her bed: Okie-dokie. Koga, after I bring him back to life I'm going to give you permission to watch over me while I'm unconscious. You see, there's a line of people just waiting to kill me and I think today's # is 345672130. That means its...Erik. You can take out an opera singer, right?

Koga: Yes...

Akuzmi: Good. Nighty-night:places hands on Kuronue's chest and whispers: 'Life has become death and death has become life. Living is the dead and the dead is living. Awaken and breath with the energy of life passed onto you' :passes out:

Kurama: Hey there...W-T-F!

Koga: Akuzmi's bringing him back to life!

Kurama: Why the hell would she do that?...wait so this is why she asked about Kuronue!

Koronue:slowly opens eyes, blinks and wakes up: Hey what the hell? Who the hell is this chick? (A/n: sorry for any OOCness, it's just that I've never seen or heard Kuronue so I don't kno his personality. I'm just going to make him the way I've heard and 'imagined' him too be like...how different from Youko can he be?)

Koga: Wow. Akuzmi did it. I'm impressed.

Kurama/I owe Akuzmi one.../

Youko/Let me out I haven't sees him in such a long time! Thank her l8r. I mean, look she's comatose/

""YOUKO COMES OUT NOW""

Youko: Kuronue, you S-O-B!

Kuronue: Hey! Youko! YOU JUST POPPED OUTA THE RED HEAD KID! So u did possess a body. Good 4 you!

Kurama/Red head kid/

Akuzmi/Tragic ain't it/

Kurama/Akuzmi/

Akuzmi/Yea what/

Kurama/You really did bring him back 2 life didn't u/

Akuzmi/No sht Sherlock. And just 2 save your breath, just 'cuz I'm unconsciousness doesn't mean that I cant communicate telepathically. I'm tired and going to bed. Night Kurama/

Kurama/...Night/

Sishi:Well that's the end of this one! everything that happened in the 1st paragraph is ABSOLUTELY T-R-U-E! Boy, do we like spelling things!  
W-E-L-L B-Y-E-B-Y-E!


	4. NO VOLLEYBALL But a Cell Phone!

**Disclaimer: This chappy only has one show and circles around Akuzmi's grounding… This has actually happened to her, but the odd thing is, she can still e-mail! WHAT TYPE OF THING IS THAT! I mean, she missed yesterday's Panther Volleyball game, we smushed the Eagles and the other Eagles (we played two teams that were the Eagles, I think) and I got to play for the first time this season! Whoo-Hoo! So, as I write this extremely long disclaimer, that has yet to disclaim anything, I am rocking out to my most favoritest new CD, L'Arc en Ciel Smile! Once I'm done listening to this, I'm gonna listen to my Black Eyed Peas Monkey Business CD and listen to the volleyball's theme song, My Humps! We listen to it all the time, it's really funny! Once one person starts to sing it, we all do! "Guess you had to be there!" OLE yearbook for the 2004-2005 school year. Anyhow, I don't own YuYu Hakusho, L'Arc en Ciel, Black Eyed Peas, My Humps, Akuzmi, The Eagles, The Eagles, The Panthers, the volleyball team, or the phrase "Guess you had to be there. Although I do own the year book and the two CDs and two volleyball uniforms and if I looked I could find a copy of the words for My Humps.**

Akuzmi: Hey Ho Ho set sail 4 one piece it's the treasure in the grand line there's no doubt! Sorry One Piece be on! And I'm still grounded! Not allowed to leave the house at all! Haahahasigh...oh...well this sux monkey's butt. I'm not even allowed out for volleyball...not fair...

Koga: AWWW POOR AKUZMI CHAN!

Akuzmi::mocks Koga: AWWW POOR KOGA KUN!

Sishi::looks at Akuzmi's cell phone: Hey look what I got back!

Akuzmi: Aw! MY BABY::takes cell:

Sishi: Why does it say "sishi's fairy" on it?

Akuzmi: Ugh... Oh think I hear my sisters telling on me! excuse me!

Koga: That is a cute camo-punk fairy as a sreen saver tho.

Sishi: Whatever.

**short huh? Well I wanna write more of the fanfic & finish my required reading 4 the bee book so yea! NIGHT!**


	5. Yomi

Disclaimer: The same thing as always, we don't own the mentioned shows.

Akuzmi: sigh I'm at my grandparents' house now, isn't it wierd that I can still e-mail and use the internet even tho, I'm grounded? Well, my mom's just awesome like that. Tho, there was a volleyball workshop thing today that I shoud have gone to, but I'm only allowed to leave the house for fanily/school reasons. For example, yesterday I knew I was grounded so I shrugged off all my volleyball and sport responsibilities 'cuz I couldn't leave. Got an e-mail todya saying that I missed yestereday's practice ACT! GOD I NEARLY PEED MYSELF!

Koga??? You peed yourself?

Akzumi: No, I just was so pissed off that I almost did. Not really, it's just my figure of speech.

:Kuronue and Youko walk in:

Akuzmi: KURONUE::runs and hugs the poor bat demon to death:

Koroune: Uh hey there...:whispers to Youko 'who the helll is this':

Akuzmi: Why, I'm Akuzmi! The 'chick' that brought you back to life, thank you very much!

Kuronue: Oh. Thanks for doing that! Being dead isn't exactly what it's all cracked up to be!

Akuzmi: No, shit Sherlock.

Hiei: Baka.

Akuzmi: Yo mamma.

Hiei: Don't speak about the dead. (A/n: touché Ceres!)

Akuzmi: Hey, if I didn't speak about the dead, pester Yomi (C/N: DADDY!), and learn how to heal from the Koorime, then Kuronue wouldn't be here. So up yours shorty!

Youko & Kuronue: Youe went and pestered YOMI!

Akuzmi: Yea...and Mokuro. And Raizen. It was fun::smiles: I even went and bothered some guy that looked like Yoda! It was fun! Too bad Ceres wasn't there...

Hiei::eye twitches: You visited Mukuro.

Yusuke: you visited Raizen?

Akuzmi: Hey, now I kno Yuske isn't supposed to be here. Hey at least your the smarter of the 2 bakas! (other's Kuwabara)

Yusuke: What?

SPOILER FOR ONE OF CERE'S FANFICS!

(sorry...but I just HAVE to say this...dont add this part if ou don't wish to Ceres, sorry, you can make me s-i-t skool a few times if necessary)

Akuzmi: Well if it makes you guys feel any better, in one of Ceres' fics, a charcter based of her is Yomi's daughter and the character based of me that's an inch too short is either Mukoro's neice or Raizen's daughter. One of them or something similar. Tho, Ceres might not do any of that, she's her own boss so she can be as free as she wants to be! (A/n:HEY THAT RYHMES!)

Yusuke: that would make you my sister...or an enemy...

Akuzmi: Yep! Ain't life grand::smiles wide:

Hiei: Conclusion:

Akuzmi: Psychotic, yes Hiei we've heard it all before. I feel like sweet snow. Bye!

Hiei: She always manages to leave before we pummel her.

Youko: That can be a good thing.

Koga: For you 'cuz you're just a manslut that choose between Ceres and Akuzmi.

Youko::glares Koga and gets ready to kill him:

Kuronue: Hmm, I thought he would have grown otu of that by now...ow well...

Youko: Alright, now this isn't fair.

Hiei: Now you kno how Akuzmi feels when you convince Kurama to steal her books

Youko: Whatever.

Kurama/I'm bored in here. All you have on your mind is things that shouldn't be disscused aloud/

Youko/so don't disscus them aloud/

Akuzmi/Don't disscus what aloud/

Kurama/Akuzmi, will you ever leave me in peace/

Akuzmi::thinks to herself/No, well maybe, once I;m in college an dsome hot college guy convinces me that you guys don't really exist and all of this is stupid/

Youko/We don't exist and we're stupid? Where the hell are you so I can kill you/

Akuzmi/You know you can't bring yourself to do that, you're too much of a manslut/

Kurama/No really, where are you/

Akuzmi/Behind you/

Akuzmi: Hello! I was curious if anyone else wanted sweet snow. SO, how 'bout it?

Hiei: How can we be sure that you didn't poison it?

Akuzmi: 'Cuz I only have enough poison with me to poison you or Koga and I can't decide who I hate more.

Koronue: Oh, you're mean.

Akuzmi: Nope, I'm just evil::grins big:

Koga: You hate me that much?

Akuzmi: No, of course not silly! I just like messing with people's thoughts and minds. :grins evilly: I never thought Yomi could teach me so much...

Youko: Alright! What exactly did he teach you?

Akuzmi: I don't feel like telling you.

Kuronue: Why not, Akuzmi?

Akuzmi: 'Cuz I promised!

Youko: WOuld you break a promise for me...pleeeeaaasssee::gives Akuzmi puppy eyes:

Akuzmi: No.

Youko: WHAT! I was positive that that would work!

Akuzmi: Nope, I gave my consent to you and Ceres, thus I have no reason to do anything for you! Did you seriously think that I wasn't planning any of this from the very beginning?

Koga: You planned on getting grounded?

Akuzmi: Uh...no...but that's besides the point!

Kuronue: sure it isn't.

Akuzmi: Alright its dinner time so I'll write more crap l8r! See ya!


	6. Inside Joke Lots of Outside People Know

Disclaimer: I'm lazy so I'll just say it, we don't own InuYasha, YuYu Hakusho, or anything else mentioned in this fic.

Akuzmi: HEY! Just so 'y'all kno, italics mean 'stage whisper that's really loud that's being yelled "whispered" from different ends of the hall. If you don't understand this then you're going to have a hard time understanding this chappy...e-mail...thing...yea...onward type!

FLASHBACK TO SKOOL 2DAY

Ceres: _Akuzmi!_

Akuzmi: _Suboshi Amiboshi_

Ceres: _Shizuka Nashikado_

Akuzmi:_ I'm cutting Shizuka out of my name_

Ceres: _InuYasha _What!

Akuzmi: I'm cutting Shizuka out of my name.

Ceres: oh.

End Flashback

Akuzmi: If you dint think that's funny, then that's because A. You weren't

there and B. It's an "inside" joke that a lot of "outside" people kno about

VOLLEYBALL FLASHBACK

We just lost

Akuzmi: What are you talking about? We don't speak ill...ly.

Ceres: Yea. We are just ill...ly.

End Flashback

Akuzmi: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Today was pretty fun!

Koga: Why is that? Did you finally see me outside your biology room window waving?

Akuzmi: Wait...that was you? I thought you were some of those Firestone kids that mooned our reading class year (C/N: That did happen, but I was in French and she was in Spanish, but apparently the look on our Reading teacher's face was priceless!)

Koga: oO Nope...just me...

Akuzmi: LOOKY! I found a really awesome Kuronue and Youko background! YAY::smiles real big:

K&Y: What are we doing on your computer?

Akuzmi: You're sitting there like the hot eye candy you are all evil-like and grinning! I want a pendulum too...can I borrow your evil pendulum Kuronue? Please with dark bat shaped sprinkles on top?

K: Fine...

Akuzmi: YAY::hugs Kuronue: You're sooo much more fun than Youko! I'm glad I reincarnated you!

K: Sooo you like me more that Youko, eh::receives glare from Youko:

Akuzmi: Isn't like it bothers him! I mean he's got Ceres-san to spend his almost immortal life with!

K: What about Hiei?

Akuzmi: I think choosing between Hiei and Kurama is what's going to be the hardest in the end. That's why I've got you::hugs Kuronue: And you don't kill me when I hug you! Yay!

(((BEWARE OF OOC'NESS)))

K: Of course not. I owe you something for brining me back to life.

Akuzmi: Yea. I'm surprised that I'm not in trouble for making you come unexpectedly back to life...I was expecting at least Botan to come yelling at me. But then again, she doesn't yell!

Koga: I'm hungry.

Akuzmi: Don't look me! I can't cook! The most I can do is PB&J and soda in a brown bag.

Youko: That's pathetic.

Akuzmi: And you're a slut but we don't always get what we want do we?

Kuronue: Well, Youko does but that's cuz the only things he wants are... :Youko's hand is slapped over Kuronue's mouth:

Akuzmi: oO Thanx...didn't want to hear about _that_...pervs...

BYE NOW! I'M TIRED AND I WANT SOME MORE TIME TO READ FANFICS & OGGLE MY BACKGROUND! lol! GOOD NIGHT AMERICA!


	7. Do you even Have Wings?

Disclaimer: Out of all the things Akuzmi does, the one thing she forgets is this! So I have to take over in the extremely long disclaimer that sometimes doesn't disclaim anything. But Anyhow… We don't own YuYu Hakusho or InuYasha, one day she has to put Fruits Basket and Phantom of the Opera in, she just has to!

Akuzmi: Hey.. its me...I'm not gonna say much 'cuz times almost up! Just, I never get to say R&R so...have it...R&R!

Youko: That was pathetic

Akuzmi: Why are you so mean to me? Hiei's being nicer to me than you! Are you PMSing?

Youko: oO

Koga: What's that? You & Ceres confuse me w/that stuff

Akuzmi: Good:: Kuronue walks in: Oh, hey her Kuronue! How art thou?

K: (A/n:his name takes 2 long to type so just assume that 'K' is Kuronue) I'm fine...

Akuzmi: That's good! Can you teach me how to fly, please?

K: Do you even have wings?

Akuzmi: Of course! What type of uplifting angel doesn't?

And this is where my time limit on AOL runs out...I'll finish this l8r...please remind me to Ceres.


	8. Exploiting the Weak of Mind

Fine...Ceres if you're going to have a tirade about disclaimers then

**DISCLAIMER**: (happy?) I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho or InuYasha or any other anime or mangas or whatnot that I happen to make reference to. And if I _did_ own any o the above. . . many things would be different! MWUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! cough cough u sorry there...

Akuzmi: So...yea I have wings and all and I kno how to fly. I just wanted something random for the last chappie::Smiles:

Koga: I love it when you smile

Akuzmi: Aww you so sweet Koga!

Tasuki: huh?

Akuzmi: Oh! hey there Tasuki! You haven't been here in a while have you?

Tasuki: Ya just ain't been here when I were

Akuzmi: Tasuki?

Tasuki: yea?

Shut up. Your grammar is atrocious. I am officially making it my job to teach you how to speak properly: Pulls out grammar book:

Now Tasuki, say his sentence.

Tasuki: Kuronue is a hottie...:Kuronue walks in:

Kuronue: WHAT?

Akuzmi: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Koga: That was really funny Akuzmi!

Akuzmi: Tell me something I don't know!

Kuronue: Sooo what happened?

(Koga decides to explain this one...)

**Koga's Done Explaining **(A/N: Boy. that was fast!)

Kuronue: Ok. . .but then why is Akuzmi in such a good mood?

Akuzmi: Because silly, I just had a killer idea for another fic and Ceres-chan is coming over tomorrow SLEEP OVER!

Youko: wait. . . Ceres is coming over tomorrow? and you'll be here too?

Akuzmi: Yea 'cuz A. Didn't I just say that? and B. Duh, I'll be here, this is my house! Baka kitsune...

Koga: HA! She didn't call me a baka! She called you one tho!

Akuzmi: Yea. . .well whatever! I'm kinda bored.

K(yea assume "K" is Kuronue): So? What do you wanna do?

Akuzmi :evil grin appears on face: I want to do something evil!

Koga: Aw what happened to the other Akuzmi?

Akuzmi: What do u mean 'other Akuzmi'? I was just playing around! Now my feelings are hurt...

Hiei: Hn. Baka.

Akuzmi: I agree, you are one.

Youko: I'm not getting too many lines in this e-mail am I?

Akuzmi: Of course not! You and Hiei aren't even supposed to be here!

Hiei: Using the net's on the Da Rules Ceres' place so we come here.

Akuzmi: SO? Not my issue.

Koga: Akuzmi's pretty nice about what we can and cannot do!

K: so far I'm not allowed to torment the puppy, fly around outside, or scare the neighbors.

Akuzmi: Well, I got yelled at when u scared the neighbors so that's a given and only wusses torment animals plus it's wrong, and you can fly outside on Saturdays from 11:30 pm to 5:30 am. I follow the same standards so suck it up.

Koga: I'm not allowed to stalk Akuzmi at skool

Tasuki: Ya still do

Koga :glares at Tasuki: and I cannot come within six feet of Akuzmi

Akuzmi: I'm glad you remembered the later.

Tasuki: I'm not allowed to set anything on fire unless told to otherwise

Akuzmi: Well I was cold and I couldn't find a match for the fireplace...

Tasuki: And I gotta go ta grammar work shops twice a week.

Akuzmi: Good boy! And Hiei's not allowed to diss on those who are Elms girls and Youko's not allowed to be a pervert and Kurama's not allowed to be so gosh darn perfect! I'm so happy that I'm finally setting down some authority here!

Hiei: Hn. It took you long enough,

Akuzmi: You're not allowed to say 'Hn" unless you are over 5', not a fire apparition, and are not related to anyone by the name of Yukina. Now that that's settled...off to BLOCKBUSTER!

**I'm not really going to blockbuster. I'm just sick of saying I'm going to bed so I said blockbuster! Anywho...have fun with whatever your going to do as soon as my sentence ends!**

**(C/N: Akuzmi has terrible spelling abilities, I spent the last 15 minutes fixing all of her crappy spelling! MY TURN! I got inspiration at the end of this chappy, this is what's happening at my place, actually my dad's but you kno what I mean!)**

:Ceres is sitting watching "Lil Pimp" with her brother, P-toes, her dad, and her brother's friend/her friend, Camille.:

Ceres: I still don't get the whole idea of this movie.

P-Toes: Just, don't bother with it, okay?

Ceres: FINE! I'll do my algebra homework.

P-Toes: Good.

Ceres :leaves room and walks into kitchen, gets a glass of water then walks upstairs to room to work on homework.:

Erik: Why aren't you spending time with your friend, Camilla?

Ceres: Her name is Camille, and they're watching a stupid movie right now, so I think I'd rather do homework.

Kurama: Thatta girl! Choosing knowledge over stupidity, I love you even more every day!

Ceres: Where's Hiei?

Kurama: He said he was going to buy some more sweet snow.

Ceres: I hope he's getting some strawberry for me; I don't have time at la escuela for sweet snow.

DA FOP: (assumed Raoul) You spoke Spanish!

Ceres: Of course, my family is Puerto Rican and all.

Da Fop: Oh, so you can help me understand my novellas.

Ceres: If I had time to watch those soaps, I watch General Hospital (Sonny Corinthos is a hottie!) and All My Children (That's the one with Greenlee right?) and Port Charles (The place the character Sam on GH originally came from) oh, and Passions (I miss Timmy! But I still love Tabitha!)

Kurama: I thought you said you were going to do your algebra?

Ceres: Actually, I meant that the super intelligent Erik would do my algebra, and the amazingly amazing Suichi Minamino would do my Bio homework, Da amazing foppish fop would do my Spanish. And the uber strong Sesshomaru can make the volleyball senior night signs for the seniors. And don't worry, I'll exploit Hiei when he gets home, he gets the joy of doing my Health homework on suicide prevention. And then Yuuki Sohma will be doing my religion when he gets here, and Nuriko will be over soon, so he'll be doing my Western Society homework, since it's in a time period near to the Sung Dynasty of China. While all this is happening, I shall be reading The SECRET LIFE OF BEES the vulgar book we must read for religion.

Youko::in Ceres' mind: I like vulgarity.

Ceres: I love you.

Raoul: That's sooo sweet!

Ceres: I wasn't talking to you, I was talking to Youko. Now, Youko, get out of my mind. Why do bandits like to do that?

Youko: Yea, we like to Do It!

Ceres: EWWW! HENTAI! HENTAI! GET OUT OF MY BRAIN THIS INSTANT!

Sesshomaru: Think of it this way, you don't have Miroku in your mind.


	9. Don Juan Pants!

**Disclaimer:I don't own Yu Yu or any other anime I make references to.**

Koga: That was blunt.

Akuzmi: Well, I couldn't think of any smart-aleck comments so I thought "whatever.

Koga: I love you!

Akuzmi: And I...love.

Koga: Yes:excitement building:

Akuzmi: Not you:smiles:

Koga: Bummer...next time.

Kuronue:looks at desktop: Why is there a picture of Hiei as your desktop?

Akzumi: 'Cuz.

K: 'Cuz why?

Akzumi: 'Cuz 'cuz.

K: 'Cuz Cuz why?

Akuzmi: 'Cuz 'cuz 'cuz.

K: 'Cuz 'cuz 'cuz why?

(this goes on long enough for Koga to leave the room)

Akuzmi: Where did Koga go?

K: No idea. Why?

Akuzmi: Man, do you ask "why" a lot. It's because last time I was supervising him, he tried marking my backpack.

K: Ew, that's nasty.

Akuzmi: Tell me about it. :Koga walks in dressed as the Phantom (ya kno like as in Erik:

Akuzmi:oO K: What the heck?

Tasuki: This is goin' ter be interestin'

Sishi: I fear for Akuzmi...I truly do.

Jin: Poor lass, we should've told her about his plans to serenade her, that we should have. (A/n: Can never get Jin's accent right...just bear w/me here)

K: S-serenade? As in singing? Oh no...this is not going to end well.

(alright lets all imagine Koga singing...badly...as in tone deaf)

Koga:kneels in front of Akuzmi:(singing) Then say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime. . . let me lead you from your solitude. . .

:Kurama, Hiei, Sesshomaru and Erik walk in:

Kurama: Hey, Akuzmi! We've come to use the net-oh my God! What the heck is Koga doing!

Hiei: Hn. Baka. I should take a picture for Ceres and Akuzmi to use as blackmail.

Sesshomaru: I think he's dressed like that and singing for Akuzmi. Look, he stunned her stupid.  
:all look over to see Akuzmi just standing there...scared...frightened...wide eyed...and pale green:

Erik: So it was him who stole my pants!

Tasuki: Those are your pants? I advise you burn them.

Erik: Raoul sang that to Christine...and then they eloped.

K: You can't be serious that that's what Koga's trying to do!

Hiei: Five bucks says that her face'll be stuck like.

Koga: Say you need me with you, here beside you. . .  
Anywhere you go, let me go too-Akuzmi, that's all I ask of you. . .

Erik: This is where Akuzmi would sing something but chances are she won't because she's too afraid to sing or because she's still stunned stupid.

Koga: Share each day with me, each night, each morning. . . You know I do. . . Love me- that's all I ask of you. . .  
Anywhere you go let me go too. . .  
Love me-Akuzmi, that's all I ask of-  
"OOF"

:Akuzmi punches Koga so hard in thte face that he falls unconscious: Erik: He ruined my song.

Akuzmi: Exactly, I put him out of his misery. See, I have some heart.

Tasuki: So, that was interesting.

Akuzmi: Ya know, I used to like that song too.

Kurama: You liked a love song? That doesn't sound like you.

Akuzmi: There's a first time for everything. Now, I have school tomarrow...Erik feel free to drag him over to Ceres' place to 'de-pants' him. You guys, just all go home alright? Night!

**And with that I no longer like love songs.**

**AWW, Poor Akuzmi!**

Erik: Okay, Hiei, you grab the head and Tasuki, grab the feet.

Tasuki: Why do I have to do that?

Erik: Becuase I said so, now do it, right now!

Tasuki: Yes sir!

Hiei: Take the full load pyromaniac, I'm going online. :Walks to Akuzmi's computer: WHy is there a picture of me here?

Akuzmi: Cause it can be there!

Hiei: Okay, and this is where I leave.

Jin: Bye!

:AT CERES'S PLACE:

:CEres is practicing for her audition, singing Think of Me from Phantom of the Opera.:

Ceres: HEy dudes! Don Jaun pants, must resist the urge to glomp! Must resist the urge to glomp!

Erik: Please, don't glomp them, they're on the buttocks of Akuzmi's stalker.

Ceres: EWWWW!

ERik: i know.

Roaul: We need to burn them.

Ceres: But they're my favorite pair of pants!

Roaul: You wear them?

Ceres: No, I like how they look on Erik's $$ tho.

Tasuki: OO Ceres was just cursing.

Roaul: No duh, Sherlock.

Hiei: I love her when she does that.

Ceres: I love you too Hiei.

Hiei: I don't love people who say they love me.

Ceres: Oh, well then, I don't love you. (but secretly I still do.)

Erik: We have to burn the Don Jaun pants.

Ceres: MAN!

Erik: Tasuki, you may do the honors.

Kurama: (C/N: You haven't said anything in a while.) Shouldn't we take them off of him first?

Ceres, Erik, Hiei, Raoul:Feigns contemplation: NO!

Tasuki: Reikka Shinen!

Koga: Butt goes up in flames and he is rudely awakened, he runs out of the house, butt on fire, still wearing the Don Juan pants.:

Ceres: But what about Erik's butt? It's going to go uncomplimented.

Roaul: I'll make him new pants.

Ceres: Good idea Fop, but better yet, I'll make them! Time to go to Joann Fabrics! (no own)

Hiei: You have fun with that.

:CEres returns six hours later with tons of stuff, but nothing resembles The PAnts. She walks into her room and locks the door, they hear the sounds of chainsaws, sewwing machines, scissors and screaming opera singers (Christine) along with the Phantom of the Opera Overture on heavy rotation. Ceres emerges six hours later with a pair of red pants in tote. They are an exact replica of the Don Juan pants with a little touch of the Red Death pants, her second favorite pair of pants of Erik's.:

Ceres: Voila! Erik, try them on!

:ERik walks into the bathroom and waltzes back out, the pants fit perfectly.:

Erik: Wow, C'est tres magnifique!

Ceres: Merci, Meci!

Roaul: But something seems different.

Ceres: Of course, look at what I stiched really small like on the butt!

:Erik turns around and everyone inspects his butt, on the seam of the pants, embroidered in gold is, "This butt is Property of Ceres Rei-Minamina.")

Hiei: Hn, Ceres, make me pants.

Ceres: Okeydokey!


	10. Do you have a Death Wish?

**Disclaimer:**** I don't own nothing' so get off it. . .but if I did. . .:evil grin:**

Akuzmi: Hello! Hmm. . .I guess I don't really have a topic to start out with today. That's interesting. . .

K: Oh well that _is_ new.

Akuzmi: Oh! Yes I know! I'm not gonna be sending any e-mails for a while 'cuz I'm going back to Chi-town for my Aunt's wedding!

K: "Chi-town"?

Akuzmi: Yep, Chicago! Just don't mention anything to Koga, ok Kuronue?

K: Sure, but why?

Akuzmi: 'Cuz Koga will get ideas about stalking me there. . .that's all I need.

K: Understandable.

Akuzmi: And I don't want him getting any more ideas about marriage.

K: Like when he serenaded you! HA! That was hilarious.

Akuzmi: It kind of was.

K: Especially when you punched him.

Akuzmi: That was my favorite part.

:both laugh and don't notice Erik, Hiei, Kurama, & Sesshomaru walk in:

Kurama: What's so funny?

Akuzmi: Nothing. :sees Erik's new pants: Oh you got new pants! How awesome! Let me guess, Ceres made them for you! Isn't she sweet?

Erik: Yes, she made them

Akuzmi: There's something different about them though. . .:Erik turns around and on his buttocks it says "This butt is Property of Ceres Rei-Minamina": Oh. . I guess Ceres did make them::begins to laugh to herself:

Hiei: Hn. Now where ever you go people are going to look at your butt and laugh their heads off.

Akzumi: Amen to that:still laughing:

Sesshomaru: Akuzmi, it isn't that funny.

Akuzmi: Sorry laugh I laugh can't stop!laugh laugh

K: I just met her, so I'm new to this but is there an "off" button on her something? (A/n: For those of you who are perverts coughYoukocough this statement was not meant to be dirty)

Akuzmi: hiccupOh no hiccup

:everyone bursts out laughing at Akuzmi:

Akuzmi: Shuthiccup

:everyone laughs harder:

!5 mins. Later!

Alright. That was annoying.

K: No. It was funny!

Akuzmi: Shut up.

Kurama: That was hilarious.

Akuzmi: Stop it, you're so mean::begins to sob:

:everyone stops laughing:

K: Now I feel bad, I made Akuzmi cry.

Hiei: Hn. Weakling.

Akuzmi: Shut up Hiei! Just because your life was living hell doesn't mean you get to make mine hell too!

Hiei: The only reason why your life isn't a living hell is because you're Ceres best friend.

Akuzmi: Hiei you suck monkey's dk.

:all gasp(except Hiei of course):

K: Akuzmi, watch you're language!

Hiei: Slut.

:all gasp(A/n:alright whenever it's 'all gasp' Akuzmi&Hiei aren't gasping):

Kurama: That was uncalled for Hiei.

Akuzmi: They're your kids too, Hiei.

:All gasp:

Hiei::eyes wide: You did _not_ just say that Onna.

Akuzmi: Oh, but I did, manwhore.

:All gasp:

Sesshomaru: As much as I'd like to see you get beat up, Akuzmi, you better watch it.

Akuzmi: I don't care. Make my day.

K: Someone's quite the rebel.

Hiei: Would that be a death wish onna?

Akuzmi: You wish it was.

:Hiei unsheathes katana:

Akuzmi: Aw, Little Hiei looks so big and strong behind his bog 'ole sword! Too bad Ceres would be devastated if I happened to die by the hands of her boyfriend.

Kurama: She got you there.

Hiei: You just got lucky onna, otherwise you'd be dead.

Akuzmi: I don't believe in luck.

Hiei: You better start.

Akuzmi: Oh shut up. You bug me. Why are you here anyway? You four are always over here for some reason. I have no idea why because:

**A.** I killed you Erik but I brought you back 2 life because Ceres made me.

Then Kurama killed you when I was unconscious and for some reason u just randomly came back 2 life.

**B.** Sesshomaru, you and I hate each other. Not only are our demon tribes feuding but you hate me because I don't like Rin.

**C. **Kurama, I gave you and Ceres my consent (not that you needed it) so why the heck are you over here all the time?

**D.** Hiei, I have no freaking idea why you're here but I think it has to do w/the fact that Kurama's here. I don't kno but whatever.

Sishi: What about us?

Akuzmi: Ya kno, you all complain about me quite a deal so I don't kno why you're here either but I like the company so I don't mind (except 4 Koga).

_And this is where I end my tirade! I'm just cranky 'cuz we had PSAT today so yea. . .I'm always cranky after evil tests like that. So why do I voluntarily take them? Who knows?_


	11. MASH or MASH?

**Disclaimer: **Why the heck do I have to keep on writing these if we all know I own nothing but the clothes on my back and I didn't even buy those? THIS MAKES NO SENSE! Actually it does so...here we go! I own nothing that has to do with anime and we all know the world would be so different if I did.

A:doing Western Society homework: The stinking biotch who assigns evil stinking homework.

K: Hey Akuzmi's back! Look she's back from Chicago!

Koga:runs and hugs Akuzmi: Where were you? You've been gone for five days! I missed seeing you every morning and evening! But you're back now and that's all that matters!

A: Hey at least I know you two missed me:smiles and hugs Koga and Kuronue:

Koga: Akuzmi hugged me! Akuzmi hugged me! Akuzmi hugged me! Akuzmi hugged me!

A: If only Youko were more enthusiastic when I hugged him. . .wait no! I don't like Youko! He's a manwhore just like that kid who was over at my house last summer.

K: You know a human version of Youko?

A: Yes, but that's beside the point. You see, my evil biotch of a Western Society teacher hates my guts and she's making me take a test 2morrow when she hasn't even given me all the materials to study from. The test was originally on Mon. but hey she's a biotch and she deserves what's coming!

K: What's coming?

A: You and Youko are being hired by me to go and kill off the bloody biotch.

Hiei: Hn. Why don't you do it yourself?

Koga: What are you doing here?

A: Because she knows what I look like and I really can't risk using my demon form in the human realm. You know that, besides I think it will be more fun for you two to just scare her so bad that she won't give me the test 2morrow.

Youko: So, we can't kill her.

A: Precisely. All I need is Koenma getting on my case when the first school quarter is barely over!

Hiei: Hn.

A: You annoy me. Why are you here?

Hiei: Hn.

A: Whore. OK, Kuronue and Youko you have my permission to go out and scare the living hell out of Mrs. Dufus!

Youko & K: Sure. :leave room to go scare Mrs. Dufus:

Hiei: Hn.

A: Whore.

Hiei: Slut.

A:I wouldn't have to become a slut if you weren't my husband.

Hiei: WHere the hell did that come from?

A: My MASH. Ceres did it. Bug her about it.

Hiei: Don't worry, I will. :flints away:

A: He _has _to teach me to do that sometime.

Koga: Can I have another hug.

Akuzmi: Nope.

_This is where I leave the MASH explaining to you, Ceres. Well, you did it anyway! HAHAHAHAHA! I can't wait to see how this turns out!_

(C/N: Okay dokay, it's my turn. Hiei's getting a little confused, and wants to know about MASH? Huh? I think I got it. And Akuzmi, start putting your name in front of stuff, cuz it's really annoying having to write Akuzmi over and over again! GOSH!)

Hiei: Ceres, What's MASH?

Ceres: It's a TV show, I can TiVo it for you if you want.

Hiei: A TV show said that Akuzmi is a slut?

Ceres: OOOHHH! That MASH, no that's a game that's supposed to predict your future, like who you'll marry, your job, how many kids you'll have, your car, pets, that kinda stuff. It's tons of fun!

Hiei: O.o

Ceres: Here, I'll show you, hand me a piece of paper.

:Pulls out pen and begins to write out stuff.

MASH

1) Wife 2) hometown 3) Honeymoon

Akuzmi Tokyo Hawaii

Ceres Akron Kyoto

KuramaParis Hong Kong

Botan Williamsburg Hollywood

4) # of kids5) # of pets6) type of pets

0 3dragon

5 2 monkey

6 0 ferry girl

2 99 cat

7)tux color 8) dress color 9) your job

black white spirit detective

white peach bandit

hot pink black convict

red hot pink lawyer

10) Her Job 11) Your Car 12) Her Car

spirit detective unicycle Ferrari

singer t-bird bike

psychologis tmustang Volvo

demon world king Camry hybrid

Ceres: Now, tell me when to stop.

Hiei: Stop?

Ceres: Okay, five.

:Begins crossing things out. Giggling all the while.

Hiei: What's so funny?

Ceres: Hiei's a Cat Lady! It says that you'll marry me; we'll live in a mansion in Akron, Ohio. Our honeymoon will be in Hong Kong, we'll have five kids (the perfect amount for a litter), with 99 cats (CAT LADY!). Your tux will be red and my dress will be white, you'll be a lawyer and I'll be the king of demon world. You drive a Camry, I drive a Ferrari.

Hiei: I'm a lawyer? Give it here.

:CERes hands over the paper.:

Hiei: Hn, this game is stupid.


	12. Really Long Chappy and Sick Kitsune

**This will be a very long chapter, the longest yet, and it includes a ton of disclaimers because it's like five e-mails all in one. All of the places without a name in front is Akuzmi because I'm too tired to write it all out. I just helped her with her first xanga, so I was a little busy today. (**** and while your at it, visit mine **** ) anyways, on with the show!**

**Disclaimer:**** Own Yu Hakusho, I don't. Own InuYasha, I don't. Own any anime, I do wish. Talk like Youda, no good I am.**

Kouga: That's one heck of a messed up disclaimer.

Oh? I found fun and quite pleasing!

K: I'm sure you did.

Hey! You and Youko are back from scaring Mrs. Dufus! How was it? I still had to take the test today tho.

Youko: Well, that sucks because we were right about to kill her but Koenma stepped in and lectured us.

K: I don't like his lectures, Akuzmi.

That makes two of us.

Youko: Anyway, he made all that happened become a dream for her so she would forget.

So, that's why she was all jittery today! She had a nightmare involving you and Kuronue! (A/n: However every good fangirl knows that it would be a dream to have Kuronue and Youko in your dreams!)

Kouga: I just realized something.

WOW! MIRACLES DO HAPPEN!

Kouga: That was so funny I forgot to laugh.

I hate it when that happens.

:silence:

Kouga: Anyway, you are never in your demon form. Its always your human form.

And what's wrong with my human form?

Kouga: Nothing, I guess.

Good.

:silence:

It's too silent. Someone say something obnoxious to break the silence.

Hiei: Hn, baka onna. You just did.

Why are you here?

Hiei: Hn.

K: Not this again!

I will not bring myself to his low level as to play his childish games of verbal abuse.

Hiei: . . .baka

Baka rhymes with Taka. Taka is Tamahome. Tamahome was attacked by Suboshi. Suboshi's brother is Amiboshi. Amiboshi likes Suzaku . . .

Youko: Where is she going with this?

Suzaku is one of the four beast gods. The beast gods are demons. A kitsune is a type of demon. Shippo's a kitsune. Kagome likes Shippo. InuYasha likes Kagome. InuYasha hates Sesshomaru. Sesshomaru loves Ceres. Ceres loves you fools. You fools know me. I know those fools :points to Akuzmi's guys:

Tasuki: She called us fools.

Kouga: It's just a sign of her love for us.

K: (sarcastically) So that's what it is, huh?

Those fools have yet to know Kenshin. Kenshin knows Yahiko. Yahiko know Karou. Karou doesn't like Sanosuke getting free food. Sanosuke has a giant sword called Zanbatou. Bankotsu has a giant sword called Bonryou that's very similar. Bankotsu's "brother" is Jakotsu. Jakotsu is a cross-dresser like Nuriko. Nuriko knows Taka. Taka rhymes with baka. Hiei always calls me a baka.

Hiei: You done?

Yes, I have officially concluded that all anime is linked in some way to another anime even though I have only used a small sample of about four different anime!

Kouga: I'm confused but proud none the less!

Yay! Someone accepts my logic!

Hiei: What logic?

The logic Yukina gave me. So if _my_ logic is stupid then so is _her _logic.

Hiei: HOW DARE YOU INSULT YUKINA?

Kouga: (unaware that Yukina is Hiei's sister) Yukina? That sounds like a girls' name. Are you cheating on Ceres?

Everyone: oO

:Akuzmi laughs so hard that she falls to the ground clutching her sides and saying things like, "My lungs are gonna burst" and "Yukina and Hiei!":

Hiei now takes this opportunity to beat Kouga to a pulp for two reasons:

1. How dare he think that Hiei would cheat on Ceres

and

2. How dare he put Yukina and Hiei (remember they're siblings) as a couple.

Hiei:looks at Akuzmi on the ground laughing: Hn. Baka. :flints away: (A/n: i wanna learn how to flint away soooo badly!)

:scene fades out w/Akuzmi still on the ground laughing her socks off:

_**I'm done and I found that all very funny! Thank you random boring inspiration and hyper sugar molecules that make you really perky!**_

**(End Akuzmi, onto Ceres)**

**Disclaimer: You fools know what shtuff I own and what shtuff I don't own, so I won't even bother.**

**Hiei: Your friend has problems.**

**Ceres: What do you mean?**

**Hiei: She has problems.**

**Ceres: What new thing has she done?**

**Hiei: She was connecting animes with other animes.**

**Ceres: Like putting Taka into FullMetal Alchemist, typed thing?**

**Hiei: No, saying that Baka rhymes with Taka, Taka is Tamahome... and so on.**

**Ceres: Oh! Like, Hiei's friends with Kurama, Kurama is a kitsune. Shippo's a kitsune, a kitsune is a demon. Nuriko fought a demon, Nuriko's friends with Tasuki. Tasuki likes to drink, Mugen likes to drink. Mugen sounds like Sanosuke, Sanosuke knows the Bakotsai. Bakotsai starts with 'B' like Bankotsu, Bankotsu has a band of mercanaries. In an episode of Sabrina the Animated Series Sabby joined a band. Sabrina has a cat named Salem, the cat talks, Tanpopo can understand her fox. Foxes are Kitsune, kitsune live in Demon World, Kuronue's from demon world. Kuronue is a bat, Charmed had an episode with bats, Prue was in Charmed. Prue's name sounds like Prunes, old people like prunes, Hiei's an old person. Hiei hates Yusuke, Yusuke is sometimes protrayed as Kagome's cousin in fanfics. I write fanfics, my favorite one I write is Nothing's Fair in Love and Warring States. My favorite reviewer is MORETHANINUOBSSESSED, she's my new friend. Akuzmi's my friend, Akuzmi's being stalked by Koga, I'm being stalked by Raoul. Raoul hates Erik, Erik likes Anna in a fanfic, that fanfic is called Phantom Companions. Phantom Companions is written by Misty Breyer, Misty is the name of Ash Katchem's friend. Ash has a pokemon named pikachu,Pikachu's very strong and can only be defeated by Jigglypuff. Jigglypuff sings, I sing, Erik sings, Christine Die-ay sings. Christine is evil, Christine should Die-ay. I hate Christine, I hate doing homework, I hate Mrs. Dufus. Kuronue and Youko tortured Mrs. Dufus. Youko is hot, Youko is also Kurama, Kurama is hot, Kurama is friends with Hiei, I'm in love with Hiei... Kinda like that?**

**Hiei: Exactly like that, you are both strange.**

**Ceres: Tell me something I don't know.**

**Hiei: I ate your sweet snow.**

**Ceres: I knew... wait, you ate my sweet snow?**

**Hiei: Yea.**

**Ceres: HOW DARE YOU? I'M GONNA KILL YOU, YOU BETTER RUN WHILE YOU STILL CAN!**

**Hiei: Like I'd run from you, Ceres.**

**Ceres: I'm no longer Ceres, I am Miyuu Vampire Princess.**

**Hiei: Right.**

**Ceres: Flame. RETURN TO THE DARKNESS STRAY SHINMA!**

**Kurama: Ceres is mad again, wait... last time she became Miyuu she tried to drink my blood. I better get out of here while I still can.**

**:Runs to Akuzmi's house:**

_**I'm done for now. I am so sick today, Me duele la cabeza, me duele me stomago, y tengo catarro. Really, I'm not just quoting the conversation for the fun of it. Go ahead and say 'Que Lastima' because Tengo un gato en me pantalones. Akuzmi, Can I borrow your notes from Mrs. K's class too. I might be better so that I can go on retreat tommorrow though... OH, visit my manga with an 'x'. search for SuzakusNoMiko, and then there's a RP one, MiakaYuki15 . Ja ne!**_

**(End Ceres, back to Akuzmi)**

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing so why do I even bother?

:walks into room because Akuzmi just got back from a choir concert:

AH! Home sweet home! Now onto the net! And Yay! 'cuz I got rid of Koga for at least 2 hrs. by telling him I wanted Carribou coffee sweet snow from Carribou coffee! They don't even sell sweet snow! HAHA Koga's on a wild goose chase!

:Kurama runs into room out of breath and huffing and puffing. His clothes are torn, looks like he has been mualed by ferocious deranged tigers, and has his hair in pig tails tied with bright pink ribbons w/remenants of duck tape around his ankles and wrists:

Whoa! What happened to you!

Kurama: Ceres went Miyu so I got out of there as fast as possible.

And you came here! I was a choir concert and my mom left to come and get me. . .so that means. . .yuo were at my place. . .with. . .my two crazy younger sisters. . .aww, poor Kurama::gives Kurama a hug:

Kurama: . . .

Are you ok? WHat on earth did they do to you? Is that lipstick on your face?

Kurama: What happened was. . .

Flashback

Kurama:walks into Akuzmi's empty room: Akuzmi? Akuzmi? Are you here? Maybe she's in the bathroom.

Unknown voice: She's not here right now. . .would you like me to take a message?

Kurama:gets ready to take out rose whip: No, thank you. Please, show yourself.

:Two cute (A/n: they _are_ pretty cute sometimes) seemingly harmless girls, one 11 and the other 9, step out of the shadows:

Kurama: (unable to harm two harmless looking children) Oh, hello. Do you happen to know where Akuzmi is?

(11 yr. old) Gwen: Yes, she's at a choir concert right now.

(9 yr. old) Cat: Yep. Choir concert. Mommy went to go get her.

Kurama: Oh, thank you. I'll just go for a walk until she comes back. Please tell her I stopped by. :begins to walk 2 the door but Gwen and Cat get in the way:

Gwen: Will you play with us?

Cat: Please, play with us, Miss.

Kurama::eye twitches: Miss?

Cat: Yeah, 'cuz girls have long hair and bos have short hair right?

Gwen: Well, Akuzmi said that guys with long hair are hot. Whatever she means by that (A/n: Alright they aren't _this _niave. This is just an act for Kurama of course!)

Kurama: I can assure you I am a boy, not a girl.

Cat: Prove it!

Gwen: Yeah! Prove it!

Kurama: . . .

Cat: See you can't prove it so you're a girl!

Gwen: That means. . .

Cat&Gwen: DRESS UP!

Kurama: Oh no :tries to escape:

(A/n: I, Akuzmi, have trained my sisters to be very cunning and sly. . .something I now regret)

:they quickly engage in combat w/Kurama and they begin to kick his butt 'cuz he won't hurt two little human girls who are Akuzmi's siblings :

They managed to tear all of Kurama's clothing, but it was on acciden, they may be crazy but certainly not perverted, and duck taped him to a chair where they begin the torture called dress up

Cat: She has pretty green eyes.

Gwen: She does so let's use this color. . .

Kurama: You're still refering me to a 'she'? My shirt is almost totally ripped apart, there's nothng there. . .so I'm a 'he'.

Cat: OH NO! Poor girl! She has no boobies!

Kurama: WHAT!

Gwen:puts make up all over his face: stop moving, silly!

Kurama: AKUZMI! HELP!

Cat: We already told you, she isn't here.

Gwen: Cat, put her hair into piggy tails while I go and find a camera.

Kurama: NO! I wish for there not to be any evidence of this evening!

Cat: But Gwen, we don't have any hair pretties!

Kurama: 'Hair pretties'? I have been officially swallowed by hell.

Cat::GASP: She said a bad word! Only Akuzmi says bad words and she has to eat dirt for it! (A/n: I really did have to at one point, but we spent too much money on dirt that week so my mom gave up)

Kurama: Oh, that sucks. I love plants and all but I'm not too fond of eating dirt.

Cat: AWW! look how cute she is with her hair in piggy tails!

Gwen: SMILE::takes a polaroid picture and runs off upstairs:

Cat: That was fun! We should play another game!

Kurama: No.

:sound of front door unlocking:

Gwen: Oh no! Mommy and Akuzmi!

Cat: I'm afraid of what mommy will do if she sees us playing with a friend over at ten at night!

Kurama: 'Friend'? I think not.

Gwen: FOPRGET ABOUT WHAT MOMMY WILL DO! IMAGINE WHAT AKUZMI WILL DO TO US IF SHE FINDS OUT WE DID THIS TO HER FRIEND!

Cat: Good point. . .RUN!

:Gwen and Cat, being thew cowards they are ran upstairs:

Kurama: Forget this. . .:rips apart duck tape and hides:

End Flashback

Aren't they evil?

Kurama: Evil doesn't cover it.

I trained them. I'm so proud.

Kurama: You trained them to be evil?

No, just to play dress up with boys with long hair! It's so much fun! When I was nine I played with my step dad's long hair before he cut it off.

Kurama: Ok.

:Akuzmi puts osmething on scanner and begins to laugh uncontrollably:

Kurama: Akuzmi?

Kurama: AKUZMI? Please tell me you're not. . .

Aol dude: File transfer complete. Filke: "Kurama in dress up" sent to SuzakusNoMiko

Kurama: oO You're just as bad as them.

Do not compare me to them::begins to sob:

Kurama: I'm sorry. I guess if Kuronue was in the situation I was in, I would have done the exact same thing. Just please don't do it again.

. . . Ok. I'm sorry too for uploading the picture nad sending it to Ceres.

Kurama: Wow, I wasn;t exactly expecting you to apologize.

GOOD! It's my job to surprise evryone and that I shall do! OH YEAH! Youe ar enever going to hear me apologize again for something I really enjoyed!

Kurama: That was short lived.

_Wasn't that fun, everyone? You got to meet my sisters Gwen and Cat! of course their names have been changed to protect the guilty! Good night, crazies of the world! _

**(Done with Akuzmi, again, back to Ceres)**

Disclaimer: Blaty blaty blah! We don't own nothing!

Ceres: My letter reaches you, please don't break the seal!

Computer dude: You've Got Mail!

Ceres: From whom, may I ask?

Erik: You know, he doesn't talk back to people.

Ceres: I know, but it doesn't hurt to ask.

Hiei::Slightly singed and being forced to watch tapes of Mrs. Dufus' class on heavy rotation. In the background, playing loudly, is a duet sung by Christine Die-ay and La Carlotta, the worst singers eva. And when Hiei could no longer stand watching the classes, there were infomercials on standby followed by 32 excrutiatingly long hours of that part of tv that comes on really late at night with the colored bars and the high frequency squee-ing.: I'm sorry, Ceres, just please... untie me!

Ceres: Not until you barf up the sweet snow.

Hiei: You a cruel sadistic person.

Ceres: I know.

Raoul: I love her when she's like this!

Ceres: Hmmm, something from Akuzmi. :Reads e-mail outloud: I'm sry to bother u, but I just had to send this to you, it's purely halarious!' :Commentates what she's doing.: Open file, save, upload. HI KURAMA! He's sooo cute in bows and... :Eyes light with an idea: PERFECT!

:Gets up from seat, goes to bathroom and gets hair stuff along with makeup and nail polish (HOT PINK AND RED):

Ceres: Oh Hiei!

Hiei: Oh wow, look at Mrs. Dufus stomp on that peice of paper.

Ceres: Hiei, this won't hurt one bit.

:15 minutes later Ceres is sending a picture back to Akuzmi, one that she is most proud of with Hiei in her school uniform with french braids, pink bows, a baret, green contact lenses, and pink and red nails, with stage makeup on.:

CEreS: My job is done, now I must try to get over my cold, you guys have to help me. ACHOO! ACHOO!

Erik: Oh, look at the time, I just realized that I have to teach Alphonse how to sing!

Hiei: I think Koenma's looking for me.

Sesshomaru: Tokijin's reacting to that mutt of a brother.

Mustang: I need to go look for the Fuhrer.

Edward: I think I just saw a himunculus run by.

Raoul: I'll help you Ceres

Ceres: Thank you, at least someone still loves me, although I'm highly contagious.

Roaul: Did I say I'd help you? I meant I'd sell you some chocalate! Yea, sell you some chocalate.

Ceres: I can't really have chocalate if I'm sick. But thanks for thinking about it. Just go, all of you. We'll just blame it on a cold if Hitomi Jr and Kurama Jr both die... AGAIN!

Erik: Good.

(Hitomi Jr. is the daughter that I was supposed to have with Hiei, Kurama Jr. was the son I was supposed to have with Hiei. They were twins, but they were killed in a tragic accident where I fell down the stairs in a hotel in New York, it was all Akuzmi's fault because she yelled at me and I ran away crying and fell down the stairs. Hiei's still mad at her because of that. ANYHoo, here's Akuzmi again!)

Disclaimer: Yeah and all that JAZZ!

AOl dude: You've got mail!

WHAT! Who the hell is sending me mail? people who know me real well know I hate getting mail and it's evil...Oh! It's from Ceres! DId I mention how much I love getting mail?

Kurama: now I remember, this is why I left in the first place.

Hey, pretty girl, you've still have some mascara on. :pull sup picture from Ceres:

OMG::falls off chair and holds onto adomen:My lungs! I think I busted a lung!

K: Oh...is that...Hiei?

Yep Kuronue! He reminds of Amy looking like that! French braids!

K:Who's Amy?

A french obseesed buddy

Kouga: Don't ask.

Oh! Yea, Koga! Where were u last night during my choir concert?

Kouga: Well, you see I was. . .

I was expecting you to be there in all my tone death glory! You suck monkey's butt! Afterwards, you weren't there to keep me company while I waited for my mom

Kurama: I was going through hell while u were waiting for your mom

Just be happy that they didn't wax your eyebrows. They did that to me once. . .I'm still trying to recooperate. . .the pain. . .ANYWHO!

Mr. Old had to be my stalker for the evening while he waited in his car for me while I waited for my mom. U really let me down, Kouga. You really did.

Kouga:kneels Akuzmi's feet: I"m soooo sorry! Please find it in your warm and loving heart to forgive me!

K:Warm and loving? Is this the same Akuzmi?

Why, of course my dear, Kuronue. Why wouldn't you two fine gentlemen be speaking of the same Akuzmi? Have any of you ever been curious why as to no one speaks like this any more? Quite frankly, I enjoy it.

Kurama: Akuzmi?

Yes, my dear?

Kouga: 'My dear'?

Kurama: Are you on drugs?

Well, I tried sniffing coke once but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose.

_Short ain't it?_

(THE NEXT MORNING!)

_**URGENT ANNOUNCEMENT:**_

Yu Yu Hakusho is now on Cartoon Network again!

Only problem is that it's on at 5:30**AM! IN THE MORNING!****  
**Well, at leats it's back on! Now I don't have to waste my lifsavings on the DVDs!

YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYA!

(Back to Ceres, this first sentence is Ceres Typing on the computer, replying to this email sent by Akuzmi.)

DID I NOT JUST SEND YOU A YOUTUBE THINGY WITH THAT ON IT LIKE YESTERDAY? THERE IS LITERALLY NO NEED TO TELL ME THAT! GOSH!

Hiei walks by: Someone's peeved.

Ceres: Well, if Akuzmi stopped acting like a total idiot I wouldn't be peeved.

Hiei: You told her that?

Ceres: YEah, I said that Poltergiest Report was taking over the slot that used to be Case Closed. But as I think about it, it's actually a different time, because it's on regular Cartoon Network, not Adult Swim. Oh, and for the smart alichs (like Mary and Akuzmi) Evangelion is on Adult Swim... go onto thier website for the schedual, but it is a really great show that is a total must see.

Hiei: My girlfriend is a walking billboard. Can I get a trade in?

Ceres: SURE! I'LL TRADE YOU INSTEAD OF YOKO!

Hiei: For what?

Ceres: For Ayame.

Hiei: Trade Youko, he doesn't need to stay! (C/N: That's for sure.)

Ceres: I'll Think about it.

(Akuzmi's really annoyed e-mail)

OK DUMB BUT! WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING? SENDING ME 17 E-MAILS! GOD!

Oh well, I was bored anyway! Thanx for giving me something to do::smiles:

Peace and Love,

Akuzmi

**(Later, after reading the angry e-mail from Ceres about having told her that YH was coming on again already. :Verb Confusion: )**

You be a poo! I didn't get any e-mail like that! You are oh so very unkind! And why are you getting rid of Youko? You know he's a part of Kurama right? MEANIE!

Kouga: Are you yelling Ceres?

Hell yea! SHe didn't have to be a ninny head and blow my error outa porportion!

Kouga:. . . Why are you wearing a dress?

Shut up! Don't call attention to that!

K: Wow! I didn't believe it when I first heard it. . .but Akuzmi's in a dress.

HUsh! I'm only in one 'cuz we're going out to celebrate my mom's b-day! Now let's get back to the topic at hand.

Kouga: Ok. So your in a dress . . .that reminds me of weddings. . .

STOP IT! UGH! I CAN NEVER VENT MY RAGE ON CERTAIN TOPICS BECAUSE YOU COME IN AND IRK SO I HAVE TO VENT MY RAGE ON YOUR ISSUES! gosh its frustrating. . .

Youko: Hellooo wow Akuzmi's in a drag!

What! Are you implying I'm a guy!

Youko: maybe.

No wonder Ceres is replacing you with Ayame.

Youko: WHAT! Where am I supposed to go? I know, I'll stay here.

uh, no you aren't.

K: Huh? I thought AKuzmi was head over heals for Youko. . .Kurama. . . whatever

I just don't like hte fact that you're unkind and when I finally give consent and push me away you come crawling back. . .u r so unkind!

/Kurama/i knew I would regret ur manliness issues/

/akuzmi/i regret not finding a way to break your soul away from his/

/Youko/you little wench/

/akuzmi/see, you are unkind, but since ur apart of Kurama u can stay here until Ceres takes you back/

/Youko/Wait, you won't take me back/

/Kurama/this is going to be a very loud conversation so lets leave my head now, shll we/

'cuz ur a manslut and the Suichi version of u is a heck of a lot nicer! so go blow you mutt!

K: Ouch.

Youko: that hurts. I'm not even a dog! I;m a fox stupid!

See, look how manly u are! Calling yourself foxy and all.

Kouga: Akuzmi set ya up to say that one.

Youko: . . .

I win::smiles:

Youko:You win.

Yay! and what else!

Youko: i lose.

YAY! TODAY ROX!

_da end_

**((REALLY IT DA END, of da chapter… or is it? But it really is long and it took me a half hour to copy and paste it all! Until next time toodle loo!)**


	13. Christmas Presents, Tournaments & Deaths

Disclaiming: We don't own InuYasha, YuYu Hakusho, Fruits Basket, Phantom of the Opera, or whatever else. Yeah. Well, this chappy is kinda out of order, we are skipping a helluva a lot of info, but I wanted to get this out before Christmas, what this chapter pertains to. I'll put up the preceding chapters later, but I just had to get this out. A little info, Sesshie is Akuzmi's half-brother (by way of father). Youko is Ceres' half-brother (mother). Okay, Hn.

Ceres:: On her xanga site she wrote: WAHHH! I went with Hiei to a competition in demon world today, and I brought Erik with me. Along with da fop. And... and... I WISH AKUZMI WAS THERE! She coulda saved him. Erik got into a fight with a few demons and was killed! WAHHHHH!

Akuzmi: Just finished reading Ceres' xanga thingy Aw, poor Ceres not she has to deal with a fop all by her lonesome.

Youko: Hm?

Akuzmi: Erik was killed by a bunch of demons in the Makai.

Youko: Why did Ceres take him there?

Akuzmi: Some tournament or something. Wish I could have gone. Would have been fun.

Youko: Ya wanna go?

Akuzmi: Ya know, everything you've said so far has been a question.

Youko: Really?

Akuzmi: -- Mansluts, can't live with them and . . . wait you can live without them.

Youko: HEY!

Akuzmi: But I love you! hugs Youko

Youko: Ok, that works.

3 mins. later

Akuzmi: UH, Youko, I stopped hugging you two mins. ago. Can you please let go.

Youko: Nope.

Akuzmi: Why?

Youko: Mine!

Akuzmi: sweat drop Uh no, not yours.

Koga: randomly walks in She's mine.

Youko: chibi-like now having a fit NO! MINE MINE MINE MIME MINE MINE!

Youko and Koga begin fighting physically and verbally

Akuzmi: -- And this is why I plan on moving in with Ceres . . . picks up back pack and flints over to Ceres' place

Akuzmi: rings doorbell

Kurama/Suichi answers door

Kurama: Hi Akuzmi.

Akuzmi: Hn. walks into apartment and begins looking around for something

Kurama: sweat drop What are you looking for?

Akuzmi: Erik's dead lifeless body.

Kurama: Beautifully described.

Sobs can be heard in next room

Akuzmi: Ceres in there?

Kurama: Yep.

Akuzmi: Let's go find Erik's body so I can reincarnate him . . . for the second time . . . it won't be free . . .

Kurama?

Akuzmi: You are just like Youko with all your '?' and questions.

Kurama: Thanks sarcasm

END YAWN

Yea, I'll reincarnate him for ya . . .again . . . but it won't be free . . . let's see . . . I'll come up with a good trade . . . eventually . . .

'Till then: JA NE!

((CERES' POV))

Ceres: I can't believe that he's goooonnnnnneee!

Hiei: You are like the biggest idiot I know.

Ceres: I know I am, but I was supposed to be his guardian angel.

Hiei: Your also the angel of Death, so wouldn't you be able to stop him from dying?

Ceres: I don't have control over the deaths of my charges, I just protect them, not kill them!

Hiei: Hn, baka.

Ceres: WAHHHHHHH!

:Ding Dong:

Kurama: I'll go get it.

Ceres: O... Okay.

Hiei::Walks over to Ceres and uncomfortably hugs her.:

Ceres: First, it's Erik, then it's Hitomi and Kurama, and now it's Erik again. WHY CAN'T THE FOP JUST DIE!

Yuki: I think we all wonder that.

Nuriko: Where's Sesshomaru?

Yuki: He went back to the Fuedal Era after he figured out about Akuzmi. He said he was going to find Kagura.

Nuriko: That's just mean.

Ceres: I miss him.

Hiei::Looks uncomfortably back and forth and slowly backs away from Ceres, having sensed the idiot of her friend.:

I need to go clean my room now, DAMMIT! So, I gots to go.

(AKUZMI'S POV)

Akuzmi and Youko just finished reading Ceres' e-mail. Actually, Akuzmi was reading it and Youko just happened to be hovering over her shoulder at the time.

Youko: Who are Kurama and Hitomi?

Akuzmi: Ceres' and Hiei's dead children.

Youko: O.O I didn' t know they did _that_

Akuzmi: Well, retard, it's really none of your business.

Youko: Why don't we have kids?

Akuzmi: O.O For many reasons . . . . . . . . about over three hundred thousand to be exact . . . .

Youko: Well that's no fun! Anyway, who killed their kids.

Akuzmi: Uh . . . er . . . well you see . . . I did . . . on accident . . . sorta . . . they weren't born yet!

Youko: beats Akuzmi over the head with Tasuki's fan BAKA WOLF!

Akuzmi: Wolf. That reminds me, Sesshomaru left. God, he must hate me even more now.

Youko: He probably does.

SILENCE

Youko: So, did you ever reincarnate Erik like you said you would?

Akuzmi: Yea, and I set down some new ground rules for him such as not going to other worlds. And Kurama knows I reincarnated him but Ceres' doesn't. Erik is gonna be my Christmas present to her!

Youko: Huh?

Akuzmi: I poked hole sin a box, stuffed him inside, cover the thing in red and green wrapping paper, poked some more holes-

Youko: You like poking holes don't you?

Akuzmi: Yep. I do. Anywhoo, I wrapped a gold ribbon on it and jammed the Erik box thing into the closet and I threatened Kurama's life if he told Ceres about what I did.

Youko: Hm, that was nice.

Akuzmi: Wasn't it?

Youko: SOOOO, what did you get me for Christmas?

Akuzmi: An appointment at the vet's to get neutered.

Youko: O.O! YOU'RE NOT SERIOUS RIGHT?

Akuzmi: Of course I'm kidding! But that was the best face ever! calls of to corner did you get all of that?

Tasuki & Koga: Yep!

Akuzmi: That movie is part 2 of Ceres' gift. It'll be good for future blackmail purposes!

Youko: Akuzmi, I'm gonna kill you! lunges at Akuzmi

END

I'm getting sick. Fun. Thanks to Katie, I'm sick. And healing doesn't work for ailments. Not fair.

Off the record Akuzmi, did you really stick the Erik box thing in the closet, for a week, before Christmas? BAD IDEA! How will he use the bathroom? And Eat? And Drink? And... fart? He'll die in his own body waste before she gets to open it up.

Oh, and Ceres wants to know when you want to trade presents, Monday or Tuesday?

Thanks for listening to me.

Kurama (AKA Shuichi Minamino)

END CHAPPY! (For now, Next we shall get all of the previous happenings up, so the story's now out of order… Oh well, you'll still be able to get it.)


	14. Old Stuff, Death, Youko, Kings & Masters

:Ceres Walks to computer, cracks her fingers and turns on monitor.: Okay, let's get crackin'.

Roy Mustang and Riza Hawkeye: Walk by, Roy whispers something in Riza's ear and she puts her gun to Ceres' head.:

Riza: You know the drill, you disclaim and write, I go back to my life. DO IT:: Cocks gun:

Ceres: Fun, I'm being held hostage in my own house, apartment, thing… YEAH.

:Ceres begins typing.:

Disclaimer: we don't own Inuyasha, YuYu Hakusho, Phantom of the Opera, The Chronicles of Narnia (Yeah that's in this chappy), Furuba, or anything else. Well, except for our stupid jokes, and umm… Us.

AKuzmi: Hey, it's 10:57 pm Saturday night. I don't why I stated that but I did, so there. Yea, I'm bored, tired, sick, and filled w/ideas for fanfictons! Of course, I'm being a lazy bum right now so I'm too lazy to get an account (& I don't have permission 2 anyway after that whole myspace thing) fanfiction or fictionzone so I'll just bug you by sending you stories. Fun, right?

Koga: Akuzmi! You're sick! What are you doing out of bed?

Akuzmi: I'm on the computer, go away before I get mean.

Jin: When are you not mean?

Akuzmi: JIN!

Hiei: Hn, you were dissed by an Irish wind kid.

Akuzmi: oO Ooh, you mean.

Hiei: Hn. Baka. Onna.

Akuzmi: Hn. A. Hole.

Koga: STOP FIGHTING! CAN'T YOU SEE YOU'RE TEARING US APART!

Akuzmi: OO

Hiei: OO --;; BAKA.

Akuzmi: Aren't we already torn apart? Ya kno, I haven't added Kurama to any of these in awhile.

Hiei: You don't have Kurama in these stupid things, but you have me in them?

Akuzmi: Yea, I guess. Hey, where's this going.

Hiei: I read the last e-mail you sent to Ceres the one that was about all things we didn't know about.

Akuzmi: OO Oh, well then. I'll be going now...BYE!

(Okay, I didn't reply to this email as far as I know, so here's Akuzmi, again. And this part is really old, it was supposed to come out a forever ago, it came to me in September.)

Disclaimer: like always, we own nothing, go rub it in someone else's face now!

CERES: I DID TOO SEND A EMAIL LIKE THAT TO YOU, IT WAS A WALKING BILLBOARD FOR THAT AND EVANGELLION EVEN THO IT DOESN'T WALK! IS IT MY FAULT THAT YOU STILL HAVE THE CHILD BLOCKS FOR NINE YEAR OLDS ON YOUR AOL ACCOUNT? NO!

Hiei: Ceres is still peeved. Time to invite Kurama over!

:Flints away and flints back with Kurama on his back (DON'T ASK! IT WAS FASTER FOR HIM TO GET TO MY PLACE!):

Hiei: Look whose back to see you?

Ceres: AYAME!

Hiei: No, Kurama!

CERES: KURAMA! How are you?

Kurama: Okay, are you still mad at me?

Ceres: I was never mad at you, but if you'll follow me we have to go talk to Koenma about something.

Kurama: What?

Ceres: You'll see when we get there.

:Ceres' Angel Wings sprout from back and in a few seconds she and Kurama are in Spirit World:

Ceres: Koenma?

Koenma: Yes?

Ceres: Did you approve the papers?

Koenma: You had a very valid point, but are you sure that killing him won't kill _him_?

Ceres: I'm pretty positive.

Kurama: What are we talking about?

Koenma: Then the Angel of Death may do her bidding.

Ceres: Thanky!

Kurama: Who's the... Ceres, your the Angel of Death. What are you going to do to me?

Ceres: It's not necessarily _you_ it's more Youko.

Kurama: o.O

Ceres: Don't be afraid! It'll all be alright, you'll be alive, and the man whore will not!

Kurama: you feel the same way as Akuzmi does for him.

CEres: Of course! Now, your just going to go to sleep and when you wake up you won't have hentai thoughts in the back of your head!

Kurama: This isn't a good idea!

Ceres: Does her stuff, weird as it may be, and takes Kurama back home.:

Kurama wakes up, very drozy.

Kurama: What happened?

Erik: So, sleeping booty awakes, huh me hartey?

Kurama: This is a bad dream, huh?

Erik: No, I was just reading a pirate book, sorry.

Kurama: What happened?

Erik: Ceres seperated you from Yoko and now he's dead.

Kurama: So I no longer have Demon Powers?

Erik: No, you have all your powers, you just aren't as hentai, and Akuzmi can't get into your brain... a double positive.

Kurama: oh.

Erik: Oh, and two more things! Ceres is also your guardian angel as well as mine, and she has full access to your brain because of it!

Kurama: O.O

Erik: Yeah, when she's a guardian angel she has access to the brains of her charges, so we're the lucky ones. She only takes on six cases at a time and we, along with Yuki and Ayame Sohma and Hiei, are the five she takes care of.

Kurama: Who's the sixth then?

Erik: Someone she won't even tell Hiei, they must be really important. And since we're always under her care, it must be someone she can't take home with her.

Kurama: I could think of a few people like that.

ERik: Can't we all though?

Kurama: Hey, Erik? How about we go try out the idea that Akuzmi can't break into my brain?

Erik: Okay, but we need to leave a note.

Kurama: where is Ceres anyways?

Erik: Visiting the sixth case, apparently (the only things I know) it's a guy, and he lives in England.

Kurama: She tries to get guys as her charges, huh?

Erik: Well at one point she had women, but they kept on dying, she doesn't know why, so she just gets male charges. They live to be at least 143 if they're mortal, but they live to be 235, 234, 653, 453 years old if they're demon. Since your half and half, we should find a nice center for you.

Kurama: you talk alot.

ERik: I'm just not able to have intelligent conversations with people other than you and Ceres most of the time.

Kurama: Oh... okay. Well, let's go!

**Who do you think my charge is, Akuzmi? Try and guess, he's a very important Englishman that I have a crush on, and no, he is not Tom Felton, though I wish I could have seven charges. (seven is just too many! And Da Fop would annoying through the seven seas and back to become one of my charges)**

Disclaimer: I own nothing except for my own soul. . .and I'm not even sure that is mine. . . MWUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

I'm quite surprised Ceres! What happened to poor Sesshomaru? OH! LOOKIE! Sesshie's on the telie! He just smacked Jakken and Rin's no where to be seen.

:Silence:

Hm, yes I am proud to say that I am finally alone for the evening and I must say I enjoy it. :looks at TV. . .: Gosh Naraku's hot. . .except for the new 3rd eye on his chest. . .and the freaky horns. . .and the wierd slimy tails. . . and he looks like he's stoned. . .real bad.

:more silence:

Well, as you may know, well of course you do. Anyway, I am able to heal people and possiably reincernate. . .and you killed off Youko, Ms. Angel of Death. . .but I wiil bring him back to life for two reasons: The first being that Kuronue had a crying fit. . .not fun. The second being that now I can heal minds. . .for the most part. . .and I will take it upon myself to heal Youko!

K: yea right! he's such a perv that it'll take yrs. for him to be healed!

Kuronue.

K: Yea.

GO AWAY OR I WILL BE FORCED TO KILL YOU!

K: Yes ma'am. :hurridly exits cowering:

Now. . .I'm of to torture. . .uh I mean persuade Koenma to give me Youko's body so that I may reincarnate him.

:Black Angel wings sprout from Akuzmi's back and she flies off to spirit world:

Hey Koenma! (sing song voice despite the fact I'm po'ed I can hide my true emotions easily. . .one more reason as to why I owe Youko)

Botan: hey there Akuzmi!

HELLO! ANd just how is my favorite blue-haired ferry girl doing?

Botan: I'm just dandy! U?

Well aside from the fact that our dinner conversation was that prosititutes in New Jersey say "What's shakin' bacon" on street corners I'm pretty super!

Botan: but don't you say-

YEP! Imagine how silly I feel!

Botan: So, Akuzmi, why are you here?

Well, I belive Ceres or Angel of Death whatever she goes by just came here and-

Botan: yes, Koenma-sama just was looking for you for that reason.

Goodie goodie gumdrops!

Botan: U brought candy w/u!

Not today, how about next time I comitt a crime against the three worlds and am sent here::smiles: See ya later.

Botan: She can say the most strange and evil things with a smile and be so happy about it.

Hey there Koenma!

Koenma: Hello.

Sooooo, ya gonna give me permission to bring him back 2 life or what?

Koenma: Well you see, Akuzmi, you already conducted an unauthorized reincarnation. . . ya know w/Kuronue.

Hey Koenma

Koenma: Yea?

Shut up. :pulls out rose that turns into a katnana: Just gimme his body back and no body will experience death today.

Koenma: So, you still conduct things just like your ancestor.

Yea well being related to an intelligent, evil, creul tirant does have its advantadges.

Koenma: So the Angel of Darkness wishes to make a transaction?

Stupid, this isn't a bank. :raises sword to Koenma's neck:

Koenma: We haven't disposed of him yet. . .he's in room #395

Thank you :sword turns back into a rose and is put away: So say hi to Yusuke and everyone else for me! Ok::smiles and skips away:

Koenma: Mukuro just _had_ to be _her_ ancestor.

:walks into room #395: Aww, Youko looks so cute asleep! Too bad he's a perv. . .

:Akuzmi does that reincarnation thingy and as a side effect, she passes out:

Youko: Oh man! My head hurts. . . what happened? Oh yea, Ceres serarated my soul from Suichi's and I. . .died. But I'm back so that means. . .Akuzmi reincarnated me. :looks across floor at AKuzmi who's unsconcious:

Youko: I owe her one. Oh great, how are we supposed ot get outa here if she can't fly us out? Oh yea::Calls Kuronue w/random communicator Botan gave him for a mission x amount of years ago: Yea, I'm alive Kuronue but we've got a little problem. Yep, fly us outa here. Thanx, bro.

:Kuronue comes anf lys an unconcious Akuzmi and Youko outa spirit world anlong with many stares:

_Can't forget teh stairs ya know!_

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but my powers, and the ones my dad gave me, and I thought Kurama and Erik were going to visit you. Oh, and you don't wonder who my other charge is... And why is the uppity angel the angel of Darkness?**

Hiei: And why is a guardian angel the Angel of Death, too?

Ceres: Just cuz I can be!

Hiei: Hn.

Ceres: Okay, truth be told, my dad told me not to kill people with my powers (Don't ask why, he's paranoid!) and so, I went to Koenma (my mom's ancestors were guardian angels, making me one too) and I asked him if I could become the Angel of Death. Apparently I was the only on who wanted to job, so, I became the Angel of Death!

Hiei: Your dad? You have like twenty... so which one are we talking about?

Ceres: I only have two dads, a human one, and Yomi (Yomi's my birth father!) IT'S SOO COOL!

Hiei: Only you... Wait, weren't you in England?

Ceres: Yeah, but I felt something go wrong with Erik and Kurama, so I came back. I mean, the Englishman was just at a champagne party, what can happen except some drunken women trying to dance with him. I'm just lucky his brother is my charge, after that Nazi costume thing he's been pretty hard to keep an eye on.

Hiei: O.o

Ceres: Where are Kurama and Erik anyways?

Hiei: They said they were going to Akuzmi's.

Ceres: Then that's where I must go. I can steal her YuYu DVDs while I'm there!

Hiei: You are a very diabolical person.

Ceres: I learned from the best!

:Flits away to Akuzmi's house.:

Ceres: Akuzmi wants to learn how to do this... SHIPPO?

Cat: KAGOME!

Ceres: Shippo, I need your help... you know the girly boy that you were playing with the other day, and the guy with the mask, do you know where they are?

Cat: They're in Lexie's room with her.

Ceres: EWWW! Come on Hiei, we need to get them out of there before they're killed.

:Both walk into Akuzmi's room and see Youko and Kuronue lying Akuzmi on her bed and Kurama and Erik sitting at the computer, breathing heavily.:

Ceres: I DID NOT HAVE TO KNOW THAT YOU DID THAT!

All: O.O

Kurama: This isn't what it looks like!

Erik: Wait, what does this look like?

Gwen: MOOOOOOOMMMM, AKUZMI AND HER FRIENDS WERE DOING... :Kuronue's had is slapped over her mouth.:

Ceres: You'd shut your mouth if you value your life :Eyes change to red.:

Gwen: Yes ma'am. :Runs off:

Ceres: Now explain... and what are you doing here, I thought I killed you!

Erik: we were trying to figure out if: CEres puts up hand to silence him:

/Ceres to Hiei/Do you feel that/

/Hiei/Yeah, it feels like... Mukuro/

/Kurama/Is it just me, or do you sense Yomi too/

/Ceres/Dangit! My dad doesn't want me to spend time with Akuzmi, we need to get out of here, NOW/

/Erik/But I wanna stay/

/Ceres/If you stay I can't be your Guardian Angel anymore./

/Erik/I'm coming/

:CEres' wings sprout of her back, she grabs onto the shirt collars of Kurama and Erik and flies off. Hiei Flits away:

Yomi: Yoko, have you seen my daughter.

Yoko: Yeah, she was:CAt slaps hand over his mouth.:

Cat: Master just killed him, my sister just brought him to life... In Spirit World.

Yomi: Thank you, child. Wait, 'Master'?

Cat: Yeah, Master want, Master get. Kagome Shippo's Master!

Yomi:o.O

Cat: Come on girly boy (addressing Yoko) we're going to play dress up!


	15. Heritage and Ayame

**Disclaimer:**** I don't own any form of anime, however I own my spirit, my soul, my mind, my strengths, my powers, my weakness (yes there's only one), and my body. (Youko doesn't own it, I do!)**

:Akuzmi begins to wake up to a blinding Sun: _The light! It burns us! _

Yomi: Hello there Akuzmi or should I say 'Akuzmis'.

Akuzmi: Hello Yomi! So how has life been for you?

Yomi: You speak very casually to me. I don't like it.

Akuzmi: But you were my sensei and ur Ceres' demon dad!

Yomi: But I'm not your dad.

Akuzmi: I know.

/Youko: Come to think of it, who is your dad/

/Akuzmi: Can we talk about this later/

/Youko: Then kick Yomi out of your house so Kuronue and I can come out of your closet to talk w/u/

/Akuzmi: Good great whatever./

Akuzmi: Yomi, I believe you spoke with my human sister. Is my information correct?

Yomi: That is true.

Akuzmi: That means you had contact with someone other than a demon or spirit person. Thus, you are to be zapped away from the human world in three. . .two. . .one. . .

:Yomi is zapped back to demon world in a blue light:

Akuzmi: Well, Ceres obliously didn't want him here, otherwise the light would have been pink and he would have been zapped over to Ceres' place. Either that or he didn't get permission from the crazy dudes that manage transportation between the worlds.

Youko: How do you know all this?

Akuzmi: To take the position of Angel of Darkness you need to know all the transportation and portal rules. Ceres knows them as well, I'm sure.

K: Angel of Darkness? I thought you were an uplifting angel.

Akuzmi: Well, ANgel of Death was already taken, there are two many Angles of Life and Light so I dared to be different and took up this post!

K&Youko: Oh.

K: Youko, don't you have something to say to Akuzmi?

Youko: Huh?

:Akuzmi just gives them a blank expression:

K: Two words. . . ya know. . .exact opposite of an apology?

Youko???

Akuzmi::thinking hard: 'Excuse me?'

K: NOT YOU AKUZMI!

Akuzmi: sorry. . .man, someone's got an attitude. . .

Youko: Oh yea::hugs Akuzmi: Thanx for brining me back to life!

Akuzmi :blushes: Yea, no problem. :few sminutes past and he's still hugging Akuzmi: Ok, I know your thankful and all but I really have to pee. Do ya think you can let go of me for about two mins.?

Youko: Oh, sorry :finally lets go of Akuzmi:

:Akuzmi sprints to the bathroom:

K: Ya know, she doesn't like you like that anymore.

Youko: I know.

K: So you still hugged.

Youko: The girl likes hugs.

K: Whatever. Just be careful now cuz you now kno that if you get out of hand, Ceres and Akuzmi will kill you.

Youko: But it was Akuzmi who reincarnated me.

K: She also reincarnated Erik after she killed him because Ceres was upset. Those girls couldn't be any closer even if they were siamese twins.

Youko: That's a scary thought.

:silence:

Youko: Akuzmi's taking too long of a pee.

K: And who are you to judge how long it takes to take a woman to pee?

Youko: It's a long story.

K: O.O And it's one that you do not have permission to tell.

:Akuzmi runs back in with a peice of paper in her hand:

Akuzmi: All right, Youko, you know how you asked who my demonic dad was?

Youko: Yea. . .

Akuzmi: Well, as u kno, I'm part inu. My dad was an inu.

K: 'Was'?

Akuzmi: He died. a little while after my 1/2 brother was born.

Youko: 1/2 brother?

Akuzmi: Yep.

K: Is he alive?

AKuzmi: yep, in fact I have two half brothers. They are 1/2 brothers to each other as well, since all three of as had different moms.

Youko: Sounds like a man whore.

Akuzmi: Don't talk about my father that way!

K: Youko, you're one to talk.

Youko: I'm trying to end those days if you all would just giv eme some support instead of dissing me!

Akuzmi: O.O :) I"M SO PROUD YOUKO!

Youko: And it's all thanx to you!

Akuzmi:blushes: (A/n: I never blush this much in real life!)

K: Can we please get back tothis whole 'dad thing'?

Akuzmi: Of course! ANyway, what I;m trying to say is that my 1/2 brothers don't know that I'm their 1/2 sister.

K: But you know them?

Akuzmi: So do you. . .My dad was. . .my half brothers are. . .InuYasha and Seshomaru.

K& Youko: O.O

Akuzmi: Ok it's not _that_ shocking! How else do you think that I'm part inu?

K: Does Ceres know?

Akuzmi: Yep.

Youko: So how are you part wolf?. . .kitsune?

Akuzmi: Well, Ceres and I have this thing where when we are around demons/spirits from different upbringings and tibes, their traits begin to stick to us and when we write certain stories. . .our DNA kinda changes I guess. I'm par kitsune becasue of you, Youko. And I have black wings because of you, Kuronue. I'm an Angel becasue of training with them. I'm part wolf demon because Ceres wrote me that way in a story. PLus, we can take on the traits our favorite characters have. I can weild fire because of Tasuki and I can get drunk a lot because of Mugen and Samosuke and on the plus side, I've got a lot of stanima.

Youko: So, if you were exposed to a say. . . a cat demon you might get whiskers?

Akuzmi: Most likely. But Ceres and I have to want the traits we recieve. It's very confusing and complex.

K: Wait, if Inutaisha (or whatever the heck his name is) is your dad, then who's your demonic mom?

Akuzmi: . . .you don't want to know.

Youko: Akuzmi, you can tell us anything, no matter how strange or disturbing it is.

:AKuzmi begins to open her mouth to say something:

Youko: But it has to have nothing to do with a chicken's butt!

:Akuzmi shuts her mouth:

K: Well Akuzmi?

Akuzmi: My mom. . .well as u kno, Ceres' dad is Yomi so my_ mom _is

Youko: No way. . .it can't be.

K: No way in heck, man! She wouldn't and to keep the kid alive!

AKuzmi: Yep, Mukuro's my demon mom.

Youko: . . .

K:. . .

Akuzmi: I know mom can be a tirant and all but, she does love me!

Youko: So that's why you can fight well without learning! You learned from Mukuro while you were a demon child!

Akuzmi: Mom told me that I had a fighter's eyes, spirit, and heart so she trained me.

K: Wait a second. . .didn't you call Yomi 'teacher' too?

Akuzmi: After a while, I still yearned for knowledge on fighting. . .mom and Raizen weren't exactly friends but they weren't exactly enimies either, so I was permitted to finish my training under his council. When I was finished there, I disguised myself and went to train under Yomi, where I learned about your band of thieves and most importantly, I met Ceres.

Youko: And you two became great friends.

Akuzmi: Exactly. Well, over time Mom found out I was at Yomi's. That started some hell. Our families began to feud and it got so bad that the only way Ceres and I could become friends was to escape to human world. There, we took possesion of two human baby girls in eutero. We planned to meet in 8th grade at our Jr. High, from there we would plan what to do next.

K: And that's how you met us.

_Yep, that's our life's story! Hey, sorry to make our past for us but I had actually thought about this before and this was the most logical explabation I could get. PLus it make sense, doesn't it? If you don't like the 'history' I came up with, by all means feel free to change it! Just please consider it! I'd write more but it's time for dinner!_

_AKUZMI_

**((CERES))**

Hiei: Who are your parents?

Ceres: The Rei's, DUH!

Hiei: No, your birth parents. Demonic parents?

Ceres: My mom, I never really knew her that much, she was killed when she went to visit my grandma. They were talking about my half-brother and the elders killed her because of her past relations. My dad is a King.

Hiei: Elaborate.

Ceres: My dad is Yomi.

Hiei: O.O

Ceres: Yup.

Hiei: Who's your half-brother?

Ceres: Youko.

Hiei: And you killed him why?

Ceres: Because he was the reason why our mom was killed.

Hiei: Wait, Yomi hates Youko, why is it that his mother is your mother?

Ceres: Umm… I WASN'T AN UNWANTED CHILD!

Hiei: Okay. I'll leave it alone now. Illegitimate child.

Ceres: MEANY!

**(( AND NOW, IT'S TIME FOR A COMMERCIAL, BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE CAREBEAR ASSOCIATION. We don't own Carebears.))**

Hiei slowly opens his eyes as he awakens from his slumber. His eyes dart around observing his surroundings, for he didn't reconize this place. He was laying in a room that appeared to be made of clouds. His eyes were still in a drowzy state so it took him a while to notice a pink blob hovering over him. He noticed a green blob hovering right behind the pink lob.

"Sunshine", came the pink blob.

"Cheer Bear, I think he's up yet" came the gren blob.

"Oh wish Bear, he needs to get up! We can't start National Happiness Day without Sunshine Bear!" the pink blob spoke again.

_"Cheer bear? Wish Bear? National Happy Day? Where in the seven hells am I?" _Hiei thought to himself.

_  
_At this thought Hiei stood up and noticed that he was taller

.  
"Where the hell am I?" Hiei scoffed staring at the two blobs who he noticed, to his horror, were actually two over overweigt, colorful, happy looking mutant bears.

"Oh my gum drops, Sunshine Bear!" gasped Cheer Bear covering her mouth in awstruck horror.

"Sunshine Bear! You shouldn't say such mean words! How can you spread happiness and sunshine if you say such naughty things?" explained Wish Bear.

"'Sunshine Bear'?" Hiei recoiled in horror. He walked over to the nearest mirror and saw not his short, evil, smirking, graity-defying hair, body, but that of an over overweigt, colorful, happy looking mutant bear.

"Holy hell!" Hiei screamed in fear as he dashed out of the room as fast as his overweight bear legs would go. He ran out onto a cloud where he tried to jump off to kill himself.

_  
"I'd rather die than be a happy, fat, yellow mutant bear"_ , he thought to himself. Too bad for him, Care Bears can fly automatically so he didn't crash to the ground and die. Next, in a desperate attempt to kil himself, he takes a candy cane and tries to saw his head off. He soon learned that violent didn't exist in the cloud castle in the sky.He was doomed to live as a Care Bear 4ever!

**(( Ceres to Akuzmi on who Ayame is.))**

Who is Ayame Sohma?

This _Fruits Basket_ character is one of the twelve cursed members of the Sohma family, and one of the oldest cursed members. Flamboyant and flashy, Ayame runs his own business - something of a lingerie and fabric store. He is also Yuki's estranged older brother. When embraced by a member of the opposite sex, Ayama transforms into the snake of the Chinese zodiac.

This is what I found in the Encyclopedia!

Ayame Sohma (²ÝÄ¦¾cÅ® _S¨­ma Ayame_), the zodiac snake and older brother of Yuki Sohma in the manga and anime entitled _Fruits Basket_, is anything-but-soft-spoken, self-centered, and expressive. He is one of the oldest cursed members of the Sohma clan. Ayame could be described as queer, and Yuki doesn't get along with him very well.

Profile 

Sex

Male

Age

27

Height

175cm

Weight

63kg

Blood Type

O

Sign

Sagittarius

Occupation

Tailor and Store Owner

**((Akuzmi))**

Alright, that's just semi-estrange/ But cool, very cool! Mind looking up Kyo?

………………

Akuzmi: Hey! How was camp Christopher-Robin? Anywhoo. . . todays SAt. so I figured u didnt get to see todays' Yu Yu episode! As is, Yusuke is dead, Kurama becoems Yoko, Kuwabara and Hiei go into the makai to gick Sensui's butt. . . which they don't. They're actually geting their butts kicked . . . bad

Yoko: Well, thanx for the support. . .not

Akuzmi: Anywho Hiei still insn't in his demon form. Why? He surely would be able to kick more butt than that! Maybe if he was his demon form in the Makai Tournament than he would have had a better chance of beating Mukuro!

MUkuro: Are you implying that you wished fro me to lose that fight?

Akuzmi: No, mother. IT's just that Hiei has an issue with not using his f-ing logic.

Mukuro: Cursing. . . good girl. YOu'll be a great tyrant someday.

Yoko: Please, don't encourage her.

Akuzmi: ANYWHO! Yusuke has this scene where teh Spirit Squad are sent to come and destroy YUsuke and to bear the news that Yusuke has Raizen's (not Raisen's I had to pay for that mistake) blood cursing through his veins. Not that we didn't already know that.

Yoko: Well, that's becasue you read spoilers and can't keep that information to yourself.

Akuzmi: GOODNESS! WILL YOU STOP INTERUPTING ME! JUST SO YOU KNOW! I HAVE YET TO INCLUDE ANY INFORMATIN THAT CERES DIDN'T ALREADY KNOW OR COLUD HAVE GUESSED! JEEZ!

Yoko: Jeez is right. Look at all the space you took up with your capitalized letters.

Akuzmi: SHUT IT FOX BOY! Anyway, Puu, Yusuke's spirit guide, become this fgian t blue phoenix-looking-like-bird and comes to the place where YUsuke's lying dead. Then he, Puu, and Koenma go through the Crap-I-Forget-The-Name-But-It-Rhymes-With-Makai-Barrier to Makai where they see Sensui kicking the butts of my hottie, ur hottie, and the baka. Then the announcer guy asks a lot of questions that most normal people who didn't see the next episodes couldn't answer (such as Will Yusuke be able to save his friends?) and goes "Next time on Yu Yu Hakusho"

Yoko: That was a mouthful . . .wait . . . u refered to me as "my hottie".

Akuzmi::tries to lie: No I didn't . . .watcha talkin' 'bout fool?

Yoko:smirks: Whatever, you know what you said.

Akuzmi: Yea, I know. I know that I never mentioned anything about losing my writer's block. Well, let's just say I was inspired by the Poppins Bag and the chapter, The Crimson Wave. MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I'm so evil that Hiei will quake in fear!

Yoko: (sarcastically)I'm sure he will.

Akuzmi: Yea, well. I'm tired. And im probably not going to watch InuYasha. Sue me.

Nighty-night,

Akuzmi

………………………………

I hate today! When I took that quiz the first time, it said:

Yusuke: acts like he doesn't like you very much

Kurama: thinks your retarded secretly

Kuwabara: wants to marry you

Hiei: doesn't think your worth his time

OMG! I hate that! must because I included a lot about possesing a human, meetin gup with you, slaughtering demons, reincarnating Kuronue, and control of natural elements (YEP I CAN DO THAT NOW'CUZ I ADDED SIEG HEART TO MY NAME!)

I'm taking it again. This can't be accurate. I'll e-mail u with those results. I'm sooooooo PO'ed!

ok i become a child because of a curse, a spirit from saaving some other person, and I go goth and Botan does too. Hey, at least I got Botan to go goth

I don't know which is worse . . . this time around or my first time:

Yusuke: Thinks you act like Hiei

Kurama: Thinks you retarded secretly

Kuwabara: Wants to rape you

Hiei: Thinks he's better than you

Liked: 8 (last time was 18)

Become: Kurama's girlfriend (doesn't he think I'm retarded tho?)

and: Yukina's best girl friend

Then: Go back in time and meet Raizen

I have the feeling that no matter what, Kurama wil think I'm retarded sigh oh well, it's what Yoko says that matters! But what the flying cottage cheese is wrong with Kuwabara. I think I may have more than one stalker now . . . . . . shivers I'm getting a security system! Well, I don't think Hiei will like me at all so who cares? But Kuwabara . . . . now I don't feel so good . . . doesn't he have a code of honor or something? . . . . Yusuke thinks I'm like Hiei . . . I must disagree. . . .What are your opinions on the matter? Can you tell I'm bored?

Luv yuns!

Akuzmi

**This is the end of the chapter, Yup. We are now going to experience an overflow of updates, just cuz I can. HAHAHAH!**


	16. Randomness, Peter, Narnia, and Ownership

**Okay, so my compy's acting weird, so if this chapter looks strange, blame it on the computer. But WE DON'T OWN ANYTHING. AND I SAID THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA WOULD COME IN LAST CHAPTER BUT IT DIDN'T BECAUSE I WAS RUNNING ON 19 PAGES OF STUFF. WHY I'M STILL WRITING IN CAPS I DON'T KNOW. **

Ok this is strange but I was curious! I put in cheese.

Yusuke: is always playin gpranks on you

Kurama: wants to kiss you

Kuwabaka . . .uh I mean Kuwabara: wants to win u over (god he's crazy!)

hiei: thinks he's taking a liking to you

I than become evil, Botan's idol and die 'cuz Kuwabara annoyed me to death.

FUN!

Yea, just post it and all but pleez mention in the disclaimer (ur so creative w/those that I figured u should have the privilege to do them!) that TasukiAkuzmi and KagomeCeres. I went through tto look through things like that, but there may one or two I missed.

Yea, luv yuns! Night!

Hitori de wa, tooi ashita wo  
Yoake no mama de koeteyuku  
Aishou yori mo, fukai futari wa  
Sure chigatte kamawanai

Yea, I was bored so I decided to read your reviews and guess what! Everyone likes the Hiei goes to School fic and they want you to update! Someone even said more arguing and jokes. MWUHAHAHAHA! With Aphrodite based off my personality there should be MANY fights to come, not to mention your personality as the model for the heroine making EVEN MORE fights. Plus something crazy happens everyday, thus there should be plenty of jokes! Now I'm just kind of telling you how to write your story. Jeez I should shut up now and read a fic. Oh Well!  
Nighty-night!  
AKUZMI

really don't know how you can put up with me like this. MORE POWER TO YA! Anyway, here's another funny line in which Kenshin's makeup is smeared.

Kenshin gasped. â€œMY MAKEUP! NAY! NAY, I SAY! IT CANNOT BE!â€ The redhead froze, and suddenly fell weakly into Kaoruâ€™s lap. â€œI am no longer prettyâ€¦â€ Kenshin gasped, twitching. â€œMy prettiness is melting with my mascaraâ€¦MY HEART IS BEING STABBED REPEATEDLY BY THE CHOPSTICKS OF DOOM!â€

He then fainted

**((This came from Akuzmi's new favoritest fanfiction, Queer as Kenshin))**

The real **Hiei's** name is Chuck. Chuck Huber to be exact. That's a funny name . . .hahahahahahahaha

The real **Kurama's** name is John Burgmeier

**Yusuke** is Justin Cook ( and Puu)

**Kuwabara** is Christopher R. Sabot

**Boton** be Cynthia Cranz

**Touya** as Daniel Katsük

**Jin** is Jerry Jewell (who also does the voice of a random guy with beer!)

Kate Bristol is **young Kurama** (WTF?)

**Genkai** be really Linda Young

And I find this really funny, but the biotch tyrant we have all come to know and love . . . and dislike aka my sister Wendy has the same name as the biotchy tyrant, **Mukuro **(Wendy Powell)

Christopher Bevins _as_ **Shishiwakamaru**

Sean Teague _as_ **Koenma**

Jessica Dismuke _as_ **Yukina**

**It doesn't say who Yomi is . . . jerk offs not including ur daddy and all**

And I guess there is a second movie that is said to be better than the first (which isn't saying much!)

Here's the summary:

When all of the Spirit World is flooded due to an unusual rainfall which overflows the River Styx, Koenma senses an extreme enemy. He entrusts Botan to deliver to Yusuke a mysterious item which must be protected. However, she is weakened and remains unconscious by the time she finally reaches Yusuke. So Yusuke and company are left in the dark about who the new enemy is, but not for long. Soon it is a battle for Earth between mere Spirit Detectives and the almighty king of the Netherworld.

I didn't kno there was a netherworld. Hn, interesting.

**((From this place forward all things without names are Akuzmi, because My mom's putting a time limit that I have on the compy and it equals 9 more minutes.))**

I'm bored so on with this!

Youko: On with what?

Nothing that you're thinking of.

Youko: bummer

Hentai much?

Anyway, I decided that we must change Koga's name!

Youko: O.o why?

'cuz. deal w/it!

Koga walks in

Koga: Hello Akuzmi.

Grins sadistically

Koga: Youko, what is she up to?

Youko: I have no friggin' clue.

Koga, kneel down so I can dub you!

Koga: Dub me? As in give me a new name?

YEP!

Koga: OK, whatever, but why?

'Cuz the name I am about to give you will truly show how much I love you!

Koga: all happy YAY! kneels down

I, Akuzmi Kurama, ruler of all things awesome and shiny, dub you . . . .BAKA-CHAN!

Youko: falls on ground laughing

Yea, da end!

Ceres:Yo, Hiei-chan, have you seen baka-chan recently?

Hiei: Who the hell is that?

Ceres: You should know, he lives with Akuzmi.

Hiei: Youko?

Ceres: No, that's Hentai-kun.

Hiei: "kun" huh? You don't hate him that much.

Ceres: Have you seen him, Koga.

Hiei: No, and I'm very happy I haven't.

Ceres: Okay... I won't question your 'logic.'

Hiei: Hn.

Ceres: Would you be jealous if I got another guy in the house.

Hiei: Depends on the species.

Ceres: Human... Son of Adam actually.

Hiei: Name?

Ceres: King Peter the Magnificent of Northern Narnia.

Hiei: Why do you fall for royalty so easily?

Ceres: Cuz they're so hot.

Hiei: You just need a knight in shining armor huh?

Ceres: Yup!

Hiei: Fine, you may have the Son of Adam in the house.

Ceres: YEAH!

Hiei: But, like always the fop is feeding him right?

Ceres: Yup!

Hiei: Can you say more than Yup and Yeah?

Ceres: Yup!

Hiei: THen say something

Ceres: Yup!

Hiei: Ceres.

Ceres: Ceres is no longer here right now, but if you leave your name, number, and reason for calling, she'll get back to you soon.

Hiei: SHIMATE! BAKA ONNA!

Ceres: I luv u too! THanky for letting me have my own son of Adam, Hiei::Runs off to NArnia, kills all of the white queens troops before Aslan arrives, saves Edmund's life, glomps Peter, ropes him, and brings him back to Kyoto. Walks into room Hiei is in, has been in since she left and been in Narnia (2 minutes) and begins to 'Squee' like a mad, crazy thing.:

Hiei: Well, at least she's happy. :Walks out and goes to computer. Sits down and begins to surf the web.:

Akuzmi: High King Peter, Son of Adam, eh?

Youko: Who?

Akuzmi: Ceres' new pet.

Youko: Oh. Huh?

Akuzmi: Never mind, Hentai-kun.

Youko: You gave me a nickname?

Akuzmi: Actually, your sister did but that's OK!

Youko: . . .

Akuzmi: stares Youko

Youko: stares Akuzmi

Akuzmi: stares Youko

Youko: stares Akuzmi

Akuzmi: stares Youko

Youko: stares Akuzmi

Akuzmi: grabs Youko's tail FLUFFY!

Youko: WTF! Akuzmi, get off my tail! picks Akuzmi up by shirt collar and holds her in mid air by collar

Akuzmi: Hey, Youko. Put me down. I might slide out of my shirt. Put me down. Now.

Youko: doesn't put Akuzmi down

Akuzmi: gets real PO'ed and btch slaps him

Youko: drops Akuzmi

Akuzmi: smiles Thanky!

Youko: You slapped me.

Akuzmi: So? Point being . . . .?

Youko: A woman slapped me.

Akuzmi: And no woman has slapped you before?

Youko: perverted smile

Akuzmi: Ewww, dat nasty Youko. Dat real nasty.

Koga: walks in Can I have a hug, Akuzmi?

Akuzmi: Why?

Koga: 'Cuz

Akuzmi: You can have a hug when you find out my middle name. How's that for ya?

Koga: No. I want a hug now.

Akuzmi: Sorry, I don't take orders from anyone.

Youko: Except me.

Akuzmi: glowers at Youko No, not even you Hentai-kun.

Tasuki: Hey, Akuzmi! You said to come get you at 10:30 right?

Akuzmi: Yep! On to the movies!

Youko: O.o Wait, since when did u start liking the pansy?

Kouga: O.o No fair! I met her first!

Akuzmi: Actually, I met Tasuki first. And he isn't a pansy.

Youko: I thought you wanted to kill him 'cuz he dumped you.

Tasuki: Big misunderstanding! I realized just how much I missed Akuzmi! Now I like her even more!

Kouga: (thinks to himself) _I wonder where I can buy some hemlock . . . _

Youko: _Oooo you gonna kill someone?_

Akuzmi: _Don't EVEN think about it Kouga! That goes for you too Youko._

Tasuki: can't speak telepathically so he's confused why everyone's staring at each other I think we should go now.

Akuzmi: Good idea Fangboy!

Tasuki: F-fangboy?

Akuzmi: Yea, I think that's soooo cute!

Tasuki: Then I guess it's OK.

Akuzmi: Now that that's settled, WE'RE OFF!

Ceres: Oh, Peter! Where are you?

Peter: It's not very fun that you force me to wear this!

Ceres: It's just a clean outfit until we can get you to the store.

Peter: But it's like a dress.

Kurama: I resent that comment.

Ceres: Kurama wears this outfit alot, it's like his favorite. BUT, I can always get you a pair of custom made pants like the ones Erik has.

Erik: Walks by eating ice cream, spoon sticking out of his mouth. Shirtless, wearing the newly created Don Juan pants that say 'This butt is Property of Ceres.: Huh?

Peter: I'll stick with the dress.

Kurama: That's still an insult to my character!

Hiei: At least you don't have stupid teenaged girls making fun of your height all the time, so your character's not destroyed.

Ceres: It just makes you stronger, Hiei-kun. Kurama-sama is sensitive and can't take much of this.

Hiei: Hn.

Peter: Okay... Can we got to the store? Like Now?

Erik: I need to get a new cape come to think of it.

Ceres: It's bad to eat ice cream in the morning, Erik. : - Just noticed. Puts hand under his mouth and says: SPIT!

Erik:: Spits ice cream into Ceres' hand.: Your on a tirade, are you PMSing again?

Ceres: Walks to trashcan and drops ice cream in. Grabs bowl from Erik and put in sink.: No, that was Tuesday.

Peter: Is it okay that I'm lost?

Hiei: You will be for a while.

Ceres: you know, 'Boredness' isn't a word.

Peter: Whatever.

Ceres: Erik, put on a shirt, Hiei, check the Sweet Snow supply. Kurama, see what you need for your plants. Peter, um... You stay here. I'll go find Da Fop (We can't just leave him in a house in Kyoto with pointy objects, all alone.) So. We'll do that and meet here in 5 minutes, okay. Break.

Erik: Wait, what are we going to do?

Ceres: We're going shopping!

Done for now, guess what Akuzmi. My mom was wondering if it were okay with me if there was an arranged marriage with a prince, like prince William. Question came up while watching Ever After staring Drew Barrymore.

Koga: in Akuzmi's not-so-secret secret underground lair where she hides all her weapons, where he is currently scheming on how to kill Tasuki She likes a pansy. I cannot believe she likes a pansy!

Youko? You're still going on about how she likes pansy more than you?

Koga: Well she likes you, even though you are perverted. Me . . . I don't know . . .

Youko??

Koga: I like her, she doesn't like me. She calls me an idiot, and says I'm a weakling, even though I'm not.

Youko?

Koga: I hate Tasuki.

Youko: You're telling me this why?

Koga: evil smile 'Cuz you're a well known thief. And well known thieves are usually good at killing. You can help me kill Tasuki.

Youko: OK . . . you just went from stalker to very possessive stalker.

Koga: Dmn right I have!

Youko: O.o And he swears too.

Akuzmi walks in

Akuzmi: Youko, what have I told you about cussing?

Youko: It wasn't me! points to Koga It was him!

Akuzmi: stares at Youko, then Koga, then Youko again, then Koga again Koga, why did you cuss?

Koga: 'Cuz. Why don't you mind your own business, baka onna!

Akuzmi: OO

Youko: OO

Akuzmi: po'ed Just where do you get off calling me 'baka onna'.?points to door Get. Out. Now.

Koga: realizes what he just said in his fit of anger and rage I'm sorry! I didn't-

Akuzmi: Get. Out. Now. Or. Else.

Koga:looks to Youko for help

Youko: You just can't kick the poor guy out.

Akuzmi:turns to Youko So now you're sticking up for him?

K: flies in Hey! sees fuming Akuzmi Whoa, who got Akuzmi Po'ed?

Koga: Akuzmi, I'm really sorry! I didn't mean it! Please don't boot me out!

K: Dude, what did you do to make her wanna throw you out?

Koga: I called her a baka onna.

K: Have you been talking to Hiei recently?

Koga: Yea, sorta.

Akuzmi: Why in the seven hells were you talking to Hiei?

Koga: 'Cuz I needed to talk to him about destroying somebody.

Akuzmi: Who?

Koga: Tasuki . . .

AKuzmi: Why?

Koga: 'Cuz you like him more than me

Akuzmi: Oh? So that's all? Just 'cuz you're jealous you decide to kill the guy? That's childish.

Koga: See! U wouldn't understand!

Akumzi: I do, just that killing someone isn't the answer! God, Hiei is do for an arss whooping next time I see him for putting ideas of murder into your sweet virgin mind . . .sigh I'm tired. Night. leaves lair to go to bed

K: That . . . was . . . interesting . . .

Youko: Just curious, but whatever happened to Yomi and Mukuro after they left Akuzmi's place?

ELSEWHERE

Mukuro: Dumb girl, living with a wolf demon, a bat demon, a pansy, a wind demon, and a kitsune. Well, now that I know where she lives and goes to school I can go visit her any time.

AKUZMI'S PLACE

Akuzmi: sneezes Was someone talking about me?

Youko: No, now turn off the light!

Akuzmi: Alright sorry---HEY wait just a minute! Why are all of you in my room! gestures to Youko, Kuronue, Koga, Jin, Tasuki and everyone else(tho I think that's everyone!)

Koga: Bad dreams from Jeepers Kreepers 2.

Akuzmi: That's understandable. Didn't I tell you guys not to watch that movie?

Everyone: MAYBEEEEEEEE . . . . . . .

Akuzmi: Well, at least you're all in sleeping bags on the floor . . . . night.

Ten Seconds Later

Someone farts

Akuzmisits straight up in bed EWWW THAT REAKS! WHOEVER DID THAT GET THE HELL OUT OF MY ROOM!

Jin stands up and leaves

Akuzmi: Should've known his wind would break sooner or later.

Youko: Akuzmi, that was the suckiest pun I've ever heard.

Akuzmi: Good for you, now go to sleep!

END

Youko is walking in front of Akuzmi for some reason. Why? No clue, but he is so deal with it.

As Youko walks his tail swishes back and forth

Youko: very serious Then after Kuronue and I break in, you have to kill the guards . . . .continues to talk not looking at Akuzmi

Akuzmi: watching his tail intently Uh-huh . . .

Youko: Blah blah blah

Akuzmi: still watching Youko's tail intently

Youko: more blah blah blah

Akuzmi: grabs tail Got'cha!

Youko: Stares at Akuzmi

Akuzmi: stares at Youko

Youko: Stares at Akuzmi

Akuzmi: stares at Youko

Youko: smirks

Akuzmi: is confused as to why he smirks

Youko: still smirking leggo

Akuzmi: My eggo!

Youko??

Akuzmi: I want Waffles.

Youko: Your odd,

Akuzmi: No, I'm Akuzmi. That's Odd points to Odd

Odd: Hi!

Youko???

Akuzmi: still holding tail

Youko: Why do I stay here?

Akuzmi: Why do you?

Youko: . . .

I DON'T KNOW WHY HE STAYS. I HAVE NO IDEA WHY KURONUE STAYS. I HAVE NO IDEA WHY KOGA DOESN'T LEAVE! GOSH! OH WELL! NIGHT NIGHT CERES-CHAN!

They stay because of this past incident... :flashback:

Ceres: Deck the halls with bowl of sweet snow. Falalalala lalalala.

Hiei: Stop the unneccessary carolling. It's still August.

Ceres: Will you light my candle::sings:

Hiei: Oh goodie::Sarcastic:

Youko: Hello, baby sis!

Ceres: Blah!

Kuronue: Woah, she loves you a whoooole lot, Youko. :Sarcastic:

Ceres: Name: Youko. Race: Kitsune. Age: WAAAYYY OLDER THAN ME!

Hiei: Sibling Rivalry. Cool.

K: How old are you anyways Youko.

Youko: 400 years.

Ceres: Liar, that would make me older than you! I'm 412. Youko is. :Hand slapped over her mouth.

Youko::Whispers: SHUT UP!

Ceres: Can I at least share the amount of women you

YOuko: NO!

Ceres: How bout the number of tail you hade up to three years before you died.

Y: Kuronue, we're going.

Ceres: HE USED TO BE MY BI-ATCH!

Akuzmi is upstairs in her bedroom, alone . . . for once. (THERE WAS NOTHING PERVERTED MEANT BY THAT STATEMENT!)

Akuzmi: just finished reading flashback O.O W-T-F? Ok . . . I'm only 411 so how old is Youko? Depending on his age this could be statutory rape. develops mental image (it's no gift to have an overactive imagination!) EWWWW! I WANT A MAGICAL ERASER TO ERASE MY MIND! EWWWWW I THINK I'M GONNA UPCHUCK!

runs to bathroom and gagging, hurling and upchucking noises can be heard

Akuzmi: Lets find out his age ... does Google for his age (side note: in the US version he's a bit over 300, so lets just make him at least 450, kk?) AT LEAST 450?

Akuzmi: Ok, Akuzmi, breathe it's alright. . . calm down . . . gosh . . . one would think I would have known about this stuff!

Youko: randomly pops up behind her What stuff?

Akuzmi: turns off computer and stands up Stuff? What stuff? I didn't say anything about any stuff::nervous (duh):

Youko: Akuzmi, what are you not telling me?

Akuzmi: flustered 'cuz she had to swim a crap load of hard events the other night and is still tired and this 'new info' didn't really help

What do you mean what _I'm_ not telling you! What about what _you're _not telling me!

Youko: sweat drop Uh . . . I tell you everything, Akuzmi . . . So I don't know what you're talking about.

Akuzmi: You know darn well what I'm talking about, manslut!

Youko: 'Manslut'? You haven't called me that in ages!

Akuzmi: How old are you, really?

Youko: What?

Akuzmi: You heard me, kitsune.

Youko: I'm not telling you!

Akuzmi: And why not?

Youko: 'Cuz.

Akuzmi: I know why, it's because you are at least 39 years older than me!

Youko: HOW DID YOU FIND THAT OUT!

Akuzmi: AHA! So you admit it!

Youko: I bet it's all Ceres' fault!

Akuzmi: Nope, just my training about using my available resources efficiently! Thank you, Yomi! Your training wasn't a waste!

Youko: Wait how do you know Yomi--

Akuzmi: How many women have you-

Youko: WHAT? WHAT KINDA QUESTION IS THAT!

Akuzmi: One I need an answer to.

Youko: Only if you tell me how many men you-

Akuzmi: None.

Youko: And how many years have you been living?

Akuzmi: I believe in waiting for that kinda stuff so back off a-hole!

Youko: Pssh, whatever!

Akuzmi: Don't change the subject!

Youko: More times than you have!

Akuzmi: -- That goes without saying. thinks for a good long while Maybe I don't wanna know. . .

Youko: whispers to himself Thank you God!

Akuzmi: And how many tails did you use to have?

Youko: Nine.

Akuzmi: That must have been a pain.

Youko: Yep.

Akuzmi: Hmmm, I wonder where Kuronue is.

Youko: Why? You have me.

Akuzmi: looks at him strangely

Youko: You smell like chlorine.

Akuzmi: SHUT UP! (as I type this I have already taken a shower and I STILL smell like chlorine!)

Youko: Why?

Akuzmi: 'Cuz . . . uh . . . I'm PMSing!

Youko: -- You can't use that for your excuse every time you're in a bad mood.

Akuzmi??? How would you know anyway?

Youko: You smell different when you're PMSing. just realizes how strange and stalker-ish that sounded

Akuzmi: O.O Ewww, you smell me? Ok, you're not allowed to smell me without my permission! Got that?

Youko: Fine.

long silence

Akuzmi: I'm bored.

Youko: stares at Akuzmi

Akuzmi: stares back at Youko

Youko: still stares at Akuzmi

Akuzmi: still stares back at Youko

Youko: You have a weird discoloration in you eyes.

Akuzmi: Yea, I know! Ain't it awesome! I asked Mrs. K about it! She said that it might have something to do with either mutations or personality and she explained to me all this cool stuff about Irontology or something like that that means "the study of pupils and irises".

Youko: So . . . why is it like that?

Akuzmi: I . . . don't . . . know . . .

Youko: It's a golden yellow ring

Akuzmi: WHya re you telling me about my own eyes?

Youko: I . . . don't . . . know . . .

Akuzmi: OOOOOKKKKKK

END

weird huh, well I saw my reflection in the glass window and I the ring in my eye. It's sooo cool, even though it's probably a mutation!


	17. Merry Christmas

**1**

**Okay, this is going to be a really long chapter, letters from like… :goes to check her email.: November/December. So, kick back, take out a box of goldfish, and read until your heart's content.**

**Disclaimer: Ceres and Akuzmi own nothing, including PotO, Narnia, YYH, IY, FB, and anything else we may make the odd joke towards. So, here goes.**

**Akuzmi and Youko just finished reading Ceres' e-mail. Actually, Akuzmi was reading it and Youko just happened to be hovering over her shoulder at the time.**

Youko: Who are Kurama and Hitomi?

Akuzmi: Ceres' and Hiei's dead children.

Youko: O.O I didn't' know they did _that._

Akuzmi: Well, retard, it's really none of your business.

Youko: Why don't we have kids?

Akuzmi: O.O For many reasons… about over three hundred thousand to be exact.

Youko: Well that's no fun! Anyway, who killed their kids?

Akuzmi: Uh . . . er . . . well you see . . . I did . . . on accident . . . sorta . . . they weren't born yet!

Youko: beats Akuzmi over the head with Tasuki's fan BAKA WOLF!

Akuzmi: Wolf. That reminds me, Sesshomaru left. God, he must hate me even more now.

Youko: He probably does.

SILENCE

Youko: So, did you ever reincarnate Erik like you said you would?

Akuzmi: Yea, and I set down some new ground rules for him such as not going to other worlds. And Kurama knows I reincarnated him but Ceres' doesn't. Erik is gonna be my Christmas present to her!

Youko: Huh?

Akuzmi: I poked holes in a box, stuffed him inside, covered the thing in red and green wrapping paper, poked some more holes-

Youko: You like poking holes don't you?

Akuzmi: Yep. I do. Anywhoo, I wrapped a gold ribbon on it and jammed the Erik box thing into the closet and I threatened Kurama's life if he told Ceres about what I did.

Youko: Hm, that was nice.

Akuzmi: Wasn't it?

Youko: SOOOO, what did you get me for Christmas?

Akuzmi: An appointment at the vet's to get neutered.

Youko: O.O! YOU'RE NOT SERIOUS RIGHT?

Akuzmi: Of course I'm kidding! But that was the best face ever! calls of to corner did you get all of that?

Tasuki & Koga: Yep!

Akuzmi: That movie is part 2 of Ceres' gift. It'll be good for future blackmail purposes!

Youko: Akuzmi, I'm gonna kill you! lunges at Akuzmi

_Off the record Akuzmi, did you really stick the Erik box thing in the closet, for a week, before Christmas? BAD IDEA! How will he use the bathroom? And Eat? And Drink? And... fart? He'll die in his own body waste before she gets to open it up._

_Oh, and Ceres wants to know when you want to trade presents, Monday or Tuesday? _

_Thanks for listening to me._

_Kurama (AKA Shuichi Minamino)_

Akuzmi: YAYAYAYAYAYAY!

Youko: What are you so happy about?

Akuzmi: YAY! runs and hugs Youko I CAN GO ON THE NET NOW! I'M "UNGROUNDED" FROM THE COMPUTER! YAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!

Youko: And the fact that Christmas was yesterday has nothing to do with it?

Akuzmi: OF COURSE IT HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH MY HAPPINESS AND THE HUGGING OF A MANSLUT! (which I like to do . . . hug that is)

Youko: What was that you mumbled at the end?

Akuzmi: Nothing . . . OH! I got a PS2 for X-mas and the Yu Yu Dark Tournament game (DAMN YOU TOGURO WHY WON'T YOU DIE WHEN I HAVE YUSUKE SHOOT THE HELL OUTA YA! yes I'm on the last level of the game in only one day), and Dragon Quest, and an Inuyasha RPG game, and a One Piece game (LOVE THAT THEME!)

Youko: Someone has a lot of capital letters and side comments

Akuzmi: I kick some serious demon butt when I play as Kurama! I just transform him into Youko and fire the death ray like crazy! OOO I love the rose darts! The whip sux.

Youko: (sad) But I like the whip

Akuzmi: And I love you!

Youko: (I have no idea as to what his response would be!)

Akuzmi: Anywhoo I was playing the game last night as Youko Kurama. I was in training on the hardest level. And I was getting my butt handed to me on a silver platter.

Youko: Sounds lovely :dripping with sarcasm:

Akuzmi: Well, the demon launched this really hard, powerful, crazy butt attack and sent Youko flying out of the ring. I mean _really _far out of the ring.

Youko: Wonderful :more sarcasm:

Akuzmi: And because of my devotion/love for Youko and in my extreme stupidity I actually leaned forward to try and catch him. Of course I didn't gain anything from that besides a nice bump on my forehead.

Youko::points at Akuzmi but doesn't really work 'cuz they're still hugging: HAHAHAHAHAHA! YOU'RE A FOOL!

Akuzmi: (ow you poked my eye!) Yea, well, I did it for you!

Youko: I know you did smirks (wow I just keep changing my action signs don't I?) SO you do like me

Akuzmi: DUH! ANd the fact you're not really a manslut helps too!

YOuko: WHAT? WHO TOLD YOU!

Akuzmi: gives him queer look What does it matter? I know the truth! And the truth makes me all the more proud of you!

Youko: (Once again, no idea as to what he would say!)

MERRY BELATATED CHRISTMAS CERES-_SEMPAI_!

Alas, the beloved internet hath been bestowed upon it's owner once more! I have gone all weekend computer-less. But I haven't been complaining because I've become a hermit and spent a forever stuck in my room watching Kaleido Star

Hiei: and now she's pissed because she's done with the boxed set, but there are still more episodes.

Ceres: LAYLA JUST BEGAN ACTING NICE TOWARDS SORA AND THEY DID THE AMAZING LEGENDARY MANUEVER TOGETHER ONLY TO LEAD TO LAYLA'S RETIREMENT FROM THE CIRCUS AND KALEIDO STAGE!

Hiei: And...

Ceres: And Yuri was forced to give The Boss back Kaliedo Stage. The Fool is still reading tarot cards, Ken has yet to tell Sora he loves her, and what's gonna happen to Rosetta, is she going to go back to Diablo or stay at Kaliedo Stage. Is Jonathan ever going to perform on the stage again (given the fact that he's a sealion or whatever). Will Mia write another play for Kaliedo Stage like Freedom. What about Anna, is she gonna talk to her dad again, and will she ever do something funny? There are so many questions I need answered!

Hiei: Wow, you really do ask alot of questions.

Ceres: I almost forgot about the Fruits Basket boxed set, now I have the first two episodes on three DVDs. So, I guess I'll give one to Cat. And I really wanna see Akuzmi again.

Kurama: What about the other stuff you got.

Ceres: i got a InuYasha poster, The Ring 2 (manga form) Fruits Basket 9 and 11 (manga), How to Draw Manga, Basketball shoes, sweatpants, T-shirts, a Yuki T-shirt, FullMetal Alchemist T-shirt, FMA Keychain, A book, Sudoku, Phantom of the Opera (book), shorts, two pairs of shoes, a new CD player, Fooly Cooly CD, DHT and NAtasha Beddingfield CDs, Crimson Hero (manga), a subscription for Shojo Beat, gift cards to Best Buy, Borders, adn alooooottt of cash! Along with alot of pink jewelry. But all in all it was a great Christmas, I still have to get my present from my brother. My mom won't tell me what it is either.

Erik: You got me too!

Ceres: Yes, I got you too!

Hiei: Hn, don't over exert yourself.

Ceres: Why?

Kurama: Hitomi and Kurama.

Ceres: Oh, I forgot! Oops... (C/N: So you know, over the phone, in one of the random role playing that will obviously appear in Bluyahh, some day, we went back in time and reversed the time that Akuzmi killed the kids in New York. Which shall be shared in Bluyahh, once she emails that chapter to me, and now Ceres is about two month until due date)

WELL, Got to go do homework, get my present and watch the last DVD of Fruits Basket. TTFN!


	18. Origins

**3**

**Origins**

**OMG... I CANT BELIEVE I FOUND THIS, Well I felt like sending you this but now I got to go do the Seventh Layer of Hekk Homework and RE, funn! ( - Note Sarcasm)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own nothing!**

Erik: So, why did we leave in a hurry like that?

Hiei: Because Ceres' Dad doesn't want her spending time with Akuzmi, and even though there's the whole 'choose sides' thing, I agree with him.

Kurama: That's cuz you hate Akuzmi, not cuz you like her dad.

Hiei: Right.

Erik: Who is her dad anyways?

Ceres: You talk like I'm not right here!

Erik: Sorry.

Ceres: My father is Yomi.

Erik: Yomi?

Kurama: One of the former Kings of Demon World.

Erik: Demon World?

Hiei: How dumb are you?

Ceres: It's where I come from.

Erik: I thought you were an angel though, wouldn't that mean you were from Spirit World?

Ceres: It would, if I were born an angel. I was born a demon. My dad is Yomi.

Kurama: Yomi never said who your Demonic Mother was though.

Ceres: That's a sensitive subject... how about we go and get some sweet snow from Cold Stone, on me!

Hiei: As good as that sounds, I want to know too, I mean, Kurama knew everything about Yomi, and the fact that he wouldn't say who your mom is, says that somethings up.

Ceres: How about we get some movies from BlockBuster, I hear The Hitchhickers Guide to the Galaxy is out!

Erik: Share with us, we'll love you all the same.

Ceres: Or how about we go to WalMarts, I wanna get a new T-Shirt, and I saw a really cool dagger there.

Kurama: Ceres...

Ceres: Fine, you wanna know? She's... she's... she's dead. Happy? My demonic mom's dead.

Hiei&Kurama&Erik: ...

Ceres: She died during the final battle when they were trying to destroy the Shikon no Tama. Her village was attacked, she was just trying to visit her mother, she ended up tripping and she was trampled to death. Are you happy?

Hiei&Kurama&Erik: ...

Kurama: Who was she?

Ceres: She was... she was my half-brother's mother!

Hiei: Who's that?

Ceres: My half-brother, who doesn't know we're half-siblings. He doesn't even know that she was going to talk to our grandmother because of his job. Her death was his fault, if he hadn't gotten that job grandma wouldn't have been worried and my mom wouldn't have gone out there, and she'd still be alive.

Kurama: But, Ceres, who is he?

Ceres: He's... Youko.

Hiei&Kurama&Erik: O.O

Erik: Then, why'd you kill him.

Ceres: Because it was his fault that she was killed! Maybe if he wasn't even born, that would make things better. After her death, my dad kept me in a sheltered box, and then he taught me to fight. Then Youko came and taught me more about fighting, since we were both kitsune it was easier for him than my dad. My dad took Akuzmi in as an apprentice after Youko left and we became friends. I helped her train and we became close friends, until it was found out that she was Mikuro's daughter.

Kurama: Then you two took the bodies of dying children and were reborn in the human world.

Hiei: Planning to get back together when you were older.

Ceres: And we'd work from there.

Erik: That's where you met us in our current forms, and knew who exactly we all were.

Ceres: From our pasts, having met you already, and by being angels we got to keep close eyes on the circuits to meet the people we liked the most (like Ayame.)

Hiei: You chose those people to be their guardian angels.

Erik: And kept a close eye on us.

Kurama: Until you became our guardian angels and got to talk to us.

Ed: But that doesn't explain why you met the rest of us, the ones who aren't demons or your charges.

Ceres: Gosh ED! DONT EVER DO THAT AGAIN! We met you guys by chance, but automatically knew who you were because of all of our studies on the circuits in Spirit World. I most likely had to take care of the deaths close to you. Like I killed your mother, Ed.

Hiei: I remember you saying something about being InuYasha's cousin.

Ceres: Yeah, my human mother was InuYasha's mother's second cousin three times removed. So, we're distantly related, and Sesshomaru and I are in no way connected.

Ya kno da last e-mail thingy I sent, right? Well this one takes place a good while before that one. It twas about me trying to explain to a few idiotic peoples who I am. -- dumb-arse inus...

**Okay, this is really old, just so you know again. And I wanted Ceres' life to go up on it's own chapter, name 'Origins' because Soon I shall be putting up YuYu of the Opera, which uses Ceres' character.**


	19. Normal is the Majority

2

**Disclaimer: Once again I am forced to write the disclaimers. We own nothing, not even the clothes on our backs, which are technically the property of our moms.**

Akuzmi: That was an interesting voice message . . . slides cell shut after listening to messages Yea, I just got back from seeing Cheaper by the

Dozen 2, and my phone was ringing during the movie.

Youko: Aren't you supposed to turn those things off?

Akuzmi: I'm an ex-assassin, ex-thief, ex-fighter-for-hire, and currently anime obsessed and the angel of darkness, yet uplifting. I don't follow the rules unless they suit me.

Youko: Hm, I see.

Akuzmi: Anyhwo, while I was in the theatre, my phone went off. Luckily it was vibrating but still I was like "WHY IN THE SEVEN HELLS IS MY ARS RINGING!" and then I remembered the cell.

Youko: Alas, yet another Akuzmi moment.

Akuzmi: I just listened to the message and it was from Zeala and Mist(not the girl Mist but the guy whose name is his name). I feel for him. Anywho, Mist apparently didn't like my voicemail thingy and didn't like the fact I used a Japanese name and stuffed my face with sushi. And then he called me sick, he was kidding though.

Youko: Interesting. That's it?

Akuzmi: You know me better than that, Youko. evil smirk I also updated on the fic.

Youko: What's the new chapter about?

Akuzmi: It's not finished . . . yet. But it's so far about the Seshi coming to the feudal era. TASUKI: ) And Amiboshi. And Nuriko. And Suboshi. Nakago is too evil and sinister and would kill me at any chance. We have enough characters who want to kill me, so avoiding death would take up too much time. Thus, Nakago was eliminated.

Youko: But you still kept the pansy, gay guy, and the insecure kissing twins? You're not normal.

Akuzmi: 'Normal' is the majority. That being said and understood, if the majority ('normal') is the group that's deranged, then what is 'normal'? The minority that is not deranged would then be 'normal' but would be considered 'abnormal' for not being in the majority. Thus, there is no such thing as 'normal'.

Youko: You've put a lot of thought into this, haven't you?

Akuzmi: Only minimal thought. I was inspired to come up with this theory by two things. The first being many psychologists and psychiatrists (they're not the same thing) have concluded that there is no such thing as 'normal' and 'abnormal' for in the end what is 'normal' is typically the majority.

Youko: You've been reading your human mother's magazines and text books, haven't you?

Akuzmi: Yes for they are very informative.

My second inspiration was in yet another dream. In this dream Ceres and myself were demons who possessed human bodies and lost almost all of their memories about our passed demon lives and their capabilities. I said something really stupid to Kuwabara (we somehow managed to meet up with the Reki Tentai) and he called be strange and 'abnormal'. ANd I gave him that speechy-like-thingy. It was pretty awesome!

Youko: And I was there, too right? 'Cuz I know I'm in all of your dreams.

Akuzmi: Actually, no you weren't. . . well later on you were only because Suichi-you got sick of you and booted you out of his head. You came out through his ear. That part was creepy. . .

Youko: o.O

Akuzmi: I love it when you make that face! It makes me feel so smart that I confused/creeped out the great Youko Kurama!

Youko: Heh, you're an idiot.

Akuzmi: And you're a fraud manslut.

Youko: So what if I'm not a manslut? Whatcha gonna do about it?

Akuzmi: You know, one with such a mind as myself or Ceres can see a way in which your last statement was _very_ dirty.

Youko: smirks Just the way I planned it . . .

Akuzmi: Pervert.

Youko: You know it!

Akuzmi: I do know it, don't I? You know what I don't know?

Youko: A lot of things.

Akuzmi: No, what I meant was I don't know why these things are always so long. I bet Ceres gets bored eventually and just exits out or deletes them. I know I would. Actually I wouldn't because I be too captivated by the boring-ness.

Youko: Only you.

Akuzmi: Yep! Only me!

Yup. That's it, short I know, but I didn't want to mix it with the goings on of New Years, which came much after New Years.


	20. Happy New Years, one and all!

**4**

**Happy New Years**

**Disclaimer: We don't own anything, what we do own, we didn't pay for with OUR money because we don't have jobs and decided to turn down the only paying job available to a 15 year old in Ohio.**

At the shrine

Ceres: Happy New Year, boys!

Guys: Happy New Year!

Ceres: So, Who do I get to share a new year's kiss with?

Hiei: Hn. Not me, I'm not kissing some baka onna!

Ceres: Hiei, that's so mean, I thought you were supposed to be my mate?

Hiei: No.

Ceres: How about you, Kurama?

Kurama:Why not::Walks up and quickly kisses Ceres:

Ceres: Wow, your worst than I thought you would be!

Kurama: Okay. You know, New Year began in Babylon 12,000 years ago.

Ceres: Oh great, it's history class all over again. :Skips up to a group of little kids.: Hey kids, did you know that New Year's celebrations began about 12,000 years ago in Ancient Babylon? Well, it did!

Kids :show no interest at all and begin to walk away.:

Ceres::walks to Kurama: I just proved my point.

Kurama: What was that?

Ceres: That no one really cares about history, unless it involves idiotic deaths or cute guys. Now tell me something that I didn't know about this year.

Kurama::Grabs Ceres and pulls her into a passionate kiss: I bet you didn't know that I'm really actually a good kisser.

Ceres: Wow.

Hiei: Hn. He's not that good.

Ceres: How would you know?

Hiei: Because I bet I could make you swoon with one kiss.

Ceres: Try me. (C/N: Is this try to kiss Ceres year?)

Hiei::Yanks Ceres down to his level, plants a giant kiss on her lips that made her weak at the knees.: (C/N: Kissing is a very weird ritual, ne? Your just putting your lips on someone else's.)

Ceres::Speachless:

Hiei: Hn. I've proved my point.

Ceres::Praying: Let us have a prosperous year and teach those guys how to kiss better.

AND I'VE PROVED MY POINT! HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Akuzmi: Not at a shrine . . . well it's more like Youko's shrine Youko, you dragged me off to a pub.

Youko: Yep! Isn't it grand?

Akuzmi looks around as sees nothing grand about it.

Youko: I bet you your first kiss that I can drink more than you!

Akuzmi: Wow, interesting prize. And without my permission I must add. But when I win, why would I want to kiss a drunk fox?

Youko: 'Cuz we kiss better drunk.

Akuzmi: You're on!

5 WHOLE KEGS OF MAKAI'S STRONGEST ALCOHOL LATER

Akuzmi: I think I might blow chunks

Youko: Me too.

Random drunk demons: DRINK DRINK DRINK!

Akuzmi: Since when did we have spectators?

Youko: About 3 kegs ago.

Akuzmi: Oh. I see. Happy New Year!

Youko: Happy New Year!

Akuzmi: drinks one more mug of alcohol I win!

Youko: No way! I want another glass!

Bartender: Sorry sir, but your girl drank the last of our alcohol. We gotta shut down now.

Akuzmi: His girl?

Youko: My girl? Yay!

Akuzmi: What? (too drunk to understand what the hecks going on)

Youko: You won, smart one.

AKuzmi: That was a sucky rhyme. Go get an education.

Youko: You're mean!

Akuzmi: Nope, I'm drunk. There's a difference!

Youko: Oh yea, there is a difference! ha!

Akuzmi: I get my kiss now right?

Youko: Yep::passionate kiss:

(wow I'm embarrassed to write this kinda stuff. Who would've thought?)

Akuzmi: HAPPY NEW YEAR WORLD! Well, actually part of the world, 'cuz the pther half hasn't had New Years yet. Oh I'm confuzzled!

Youko: I love you!

Akuzmi: I love you too!

YAY HAPPY NEW YEAR!


	21. Mabudachi Troubles & No More Idiots 4 Us

**5 Ridding of Idiots and the Mabuduci Trio**

**Disclaimer: We don't own anything, go file a report…. NO WAIT, DON'T FILE A REPORT. KEEP THAT BIT OF INFO TO YOUSELF!**

Akuzmi: Well, I was training with Mukuro the other day and she and I were talking. About who my mom was, 'cuz it ain't her. JUst isn't possible. SHe's my adoptive mommy. Ya, dad gave me to her. go figure. ANywho, I learned about my wolf demon mommy. I'm a mix. A mutt. Ruff. Sorry, reflex. ANywho (again) I learned my mom is Koga's mom's sister. Koga and I are cousins. Pervert.

Youko: Wow. You had a "Yusuke cousin"

AKuzmi: Eh, close enough to one.

YOuko: SO that's why he hasn't been here in forever?

AKuzmi: Yep, all I heard before he ran off last week was, "Repent . . . forgiveness . . . lust . . .cousin . . . tribal rules . . . my ars is gonna get whooped really badly . . ." and then he was gone.

Youko: Wow.

AKuzmi: Hey, Youko-san, I've got a question.

Youko: Yea?

AKuzmi: Can I bring a pervert and a doctor to live with us? PLEASE!

YOuko: WHy a pervert?

Akuzmi: 'Cuz ur not really one. STupid fanfic authoresses

YOuko:Alright I want names.

Akuzmi: Shigure and Hatori.

Youko: ugh...fine

AKumzi: YAY! hugs Youko I'll tsake that assassin job w/u now! It'll be fun!

Youko: Killing people. FUn.

Akuzmi: U get paid 4 it.

Youko: Let me rephrase that . . .KILLMG PEOPLE! WOO-HOOO! FUN!

AKuzmi: Yay!

Youko: SO, when are they gonna get here?

Dorrbell: ding dong

Akuzmi: That should be them!

Ceres::Sitting in her room listening to really sad opera musik, like El Divo (not really sad, but it's sad cuz they're so hot and Ceres can't get them) and sobbing: NOOOOOO!

Erik: What's wrong::sits on end of Ceres' bed:

Ceres: My mabaduchi trio is getting split up.

Roaul: Porque?

Ceres: My brother and Shii-chan are going to Akuzmi's, I'm being left with Aaya-chan. Not to complain, Aaya is great, but I'll miss my brother adn Shii-chan.

Erik: Wait, I didn't know you were related to the Sohmas.

Ceres: Not technically, I knew Ha'ri-nii for a while, and he acted like a big brother to me, once I got to know the curse (from my job) we got closer to the point that he started calling me his little sister and I called him my big brother.

Erik: Ahhh.

Ceres: I don't know what to do.

Peter: Write a letter of complaint to your country's ruler, she may be able to do something.

Ceres: Ummm... there are a few flaws to that, my stupid little friend. 1) The head of my country is male. 2) there are many countries that I belong to, one in ningenkai, reikai, and makai. 3) I'm going to rule the makai (thanx to a little contract I signed with the ruler of the makai if I kill 30 demons for him... he really didn't want to rule.) and 4) WHAT THE HECK WOULD THEY BE ABLE TO DO AGAINST A SUGAR HIGH TEENAGE FEMALE DEMON IN THE BODY OF A NINGEN?

Peter: I don't know :Starts to cry: You're mean! I'm going back to Susan and Lucy::runs off crying, never to return again:

Ceres: Good, now that one of the village idiots are gone, time to deal with the other fifty. Who invited Koga over here anyways?

Erik: That was Sesshomaru.

Ceres: Who invited Sesshomaru back? After that whole thing with him leaving me for Kagura and ending up dating the girl that my brother (Youko) came in possession with, I thought he was forbidden to step foot in my house without being invited.

Erik: Kurama invited him.

Ceres: Where did Kurama get the stupid idea that he was in charge of my home?

Erik: When you started calling him 'Rama-sama'.

Ceres: IDIOT! Can't he tell that I say things only because I like how they rhyme?

Roaul: So, what were you getting at?

Ceres: The next village idiot must be disposed of. Operation: Kill Koga, is about to begin.

Erik: No killing in the house.

Ceres: Whatever! I need to plan what to do now, be back later. :Walks into bathroom with fanfic journal, laptop with wireless internet, power cord, and cd player with Natasha Beddingfield Cd.:

Akuzmi:YAY::HUGS YOUKO:

Youko??

A: Ceres is gonna kill KOga

Y: CELEBRATION! SAKI ALL AROUND!

A: Nope, no saki.

Y: But why? I wnat saki! whinning

A: I'll give u something better than saki::leans in close to Youko:

YOuko?

A: SUSHI! MOves backwards and pulls out a giant container of sushi!

Y: bummer

A: PERVERT! YOU THOUSHT THAT DIDN'T YOU!

Y: Maybe . . .

A: Sicko

Y: Mating season, what can I say?

A: WHAT! OMG! BYE! moves to Cers' house 'till mating season is over Stupid male fox hormones and their pervertedness

Ceres: This is my current single status :singing songs as she finally emerges from bathroom (10 minutes later):

Erik: You done?

Ceres: Nope, I need food.

Erik: Oh.

Ceres :Walks into bathroom again with frozen ho-hos (no own), sweet snow, chips, cookies, and cherry pepsi (she wanted booze, but Hiei confiscated it after the resurection of Kurama and Hitomi, her dead children, being 7 months in, it still may affect the children). She leaves bathroom at 6:00 am, 13 hours later, with a devilish smile.:

Kurama::To Hiei: how is it that your mate can stay in one room for that long?

Hiei: I don't know, I really don't know.

Ceres: Oh, Koga!

Koga: Huh?

Ceres: I was just talking with Koenma; the wolf-demon tribe is looking for you. Said something about 'giving back positions' and 'not really member of tribe' and some other crap that sounded really important. I was paying to much attention to Prince William's cute face to pay attention.

Koga: Really?

Ceres: Yup, here's a key, so that you can get back in afterwards; that is if you still want to.

Koga: Thanks, Ceres. Akuzmi would've never done this type of thing for me.

Ceres: Hey, what are friends for?

:Koga leaves.:

:Ceres walks up to Sesshomaru and pulls out her katana.: You let him in, and your dead. I'm quick to my katana, and I won't spare your life because my neice is your girlfriend.

Sesshomaru: Ye...Yes ma'am.

Ceres: And I'm not that old::Walks off to the closet and comes back with a box in her hand. Now, Hiei, Kurama, Erik, give me a hand. Take a lock, each of you, and change a lock, don't change the same one. And only give spares to the ones who matter, Hiei, Kurama, Erik, me, Akuzmi, Youko, and Kuronue. No one else. If the fop or Sessh want to come back in, they have to ring the doorbell like every other idiotic fan that goes to that door.

Rama: Aye Aye Captain!

Ceres: Okay, I'm going to bed now, sleeping in a bathroom doesn't really work out.

Rama: Your wifereally is psychotic at times.

Hiei: But I still love her.

Dorrbell: DING DONG!

Akuzmi: walks out of bathroom in PJ's and a towel drying her evil hair Who in the seven hells comes to MY house at 8:30 night?

YOuko: Besides Kuronue and I? No one.

AKuzmi: Well, some one obliously has come.

DING DONG!

Youko: YOu gonna get that?

Akuzmi: Maybe if we don't answer it whoever it is might just go away.

10 Mins Later

DING DONG!

Youko: Still here.

Akuzmi: Damn. . .answers door Koga?

Koga: Uh, hi, cousin.

Akuzmi: Hey, so what do you need?

Koga: Ur nice now?

Akuzmi: Well, you are family. I have respect for family.

Koga: Oh.

Akuzmi: Soooo, what do u need?

Koga: I got locked out of Ceres' house and she must be at work or something 'cuz no one's answering the door.

Akuzmi: And you need a place to stay, right?

Koga: Yea, pretty much.

Akuzmi: Well ur not sleeping here. SHigure and Hatori have ur old room.

Koga: Oh.

AKuzi: How's this, I'll open up a portal to the wolf demon tribe's camp and all and u can stay there and never comeback here. I mean u have no reason to coem back here and all.

Koga: That's true.

Akuzmi: And as ur cousin, I'll come and visit you every other blue moon.

Koga: Blue moon?

Akuzi: NEver mind, it's a ningen expression.

Koga: Oh.

Akuzmi: You say that a lot.

Koga: ALright. SO, how about htat portal?

Akuzmi: Yea ok here goes. opens portal and pushes Koga into it Bye bye! shuts door and goes to room

YouKO: Koga?

akuzmi: YEp.


	22. Doggy Talk and Avoidance of Exams!

**6 Dog Talk and Avoidance of Exams**

**Disclaimer: Owners of… Nothing**

Uthur: RUff. Bark. Ruff. BVArk. Bow wow. Arf aarf arff-ity-arf-arf! Arff!

Youko: Huh?

Akuzmi: Hey Ootie pa tootie! What? Gwen hugged SHigure? Hatori erased her memory? Then Shigure turned human again just as Cat walked into my room?

Youko: She's always in ur room.

Akuzmi: OMG! THAT MEANS SHE SAW SHIGURE IN THE NUDE!

Youko: Oh. She's 9, right?

AKuzmi: YES! HER VIRGIN EYES HAVE BEEN TAINTED! TAINTED I TELL YOU!

Uthur: Bark! VARK! BARK! BAKA-BARK!

Akuzmi: Oh, Hatori erased her memory too? Ok then, everythings fine,

Youko: u speak dog?

Akuzmi: Yep! I am part inu! Now, who wants I bone? plays with her dog

Youko: A girl and her dog.

Shigure and Hatori walk in

Shigure: High school girl high school girl! All for me, high school girl!

Youko: Think again, buddy. bars claws and glares

SHigure: Eep. . .I'll share . . .

Hatori: Idiot.

Shigure: What! BUt lookj how she loves her dog! She's so cute!

Hatori: WHy does that sound illegal?

Youko: Because it is.

Akuzmi: I love my Ootie! plays w/his ears!

Youko and Hatori: Sweatdrop

Youko: Akuzmi, is this the same dog that raped you?

AKuzmi: HE didn't rape me! Gwen turned him on and she ran out of the room and I was the next unfortunate soul to walk in! And my clotehs were still on and I got him off. . .

stares and silence

AKuzmi: I WASN'T RAPED BY A DOG!

Youko: But he thought about doing it . . .

Shigure: (looks at Ootie) You hum-

Hatori: Yep. He did do that to her.

Akuzmi: Youko, why do you have to bring crap like this up?

Ootie: BARK BARK!

AKuzmi: Ootie, go away.

Ootie walks away

Akuzmi: Aw, I miss Ootie!

Youko: He' sbeen gone for two seconds

Akuzmi: yea, but I like doggies! I'm a dog/wolf/vicious animal person! looks shigure and idea pops iinto wicked little head

Youko: Why are u looking at him like that?

Akuzmi: hugs Shigure

Yay!

SHigure turns into dog

SHigure: . . .

Hatroi: Great. More idiodicy.

Akuzmi: U shouldn't talk so badly about urself pets shigure

YOuko: YOu dont pet me when Im in my fox form

Akuzmi: dats 'cuz ur never in your fox form! rubs Shigure's tummy

Youko: Im just not sure wihc of u is da biotch.

Akuzmi: it doesn't matter, 'cuz ur the one who' sin the dog house.

Shigure: Can we please stop with the bad puns and dog humor?

AKuzmi: FIne stops petting SHigure Im off to-poof Shigure become guy again Ok, I forgot about this part.

Gwen and Cat coem downstairs

Gwen: MOM! LEX's IS STANDING WITH A NAKED MAN!

AKUZMI: WHAT! SHUT UP GWEN!

MOm: WHAT!

CAT: u BUSTED.

aKUZMI: stop staring him SHigure, get some clothes on! Mom, Gwen and Cat must be high on cookies or something 'cuz they're hallusinating.

Gwen: No we're not! We let girly man stay here 'cuz he lets us play w/his hair, and we like fabg boy 'cuz he's fun to make mad, we're glad anxiety diosorder wolf guy's gone, and we're fine with the samurai, drunks, and wind dude. But Naked men, ya gotta stop somewhere.

Akuzmi: Ok . . drunks, wind boy, and da samurai dont live here. and! they're not naked! They're animal people. . .who are . .. oh screw it! Hatori, erase all they're memories.

Hatori: Hm. ok. eraese memories

AKuzmi: The many wonder of quietness. He, Youko, u let Gwen and Cat play w/ur hair?

:Ceres is sitting at her desk, labourously working on her study guides for next week's exams.: YaWn. :She got up from her desk and walked out of the room, to the kitchen.:

Hiei: What are you doing?

Ceres: Getting something to eat.

Hiei:Grabs sweet snow away from Ceres: Not until you finish your study guide for Western Society.

Ceres: Darn Seventh layer of HEll!

Hiei: Hn. Whatever. Go finish your homework.

Ceres: I have a long weekend, can't I do it later?

Kurama: Procrastination kills the kitsune.

Ceres: Rama-sama, will you do my homework for me?

Kurama: No, you won't learn if you don't do it yourself.

Ceres: Rama, you arse, your just like Akuzmi!

Kurama: You are aware that 'arse' means 'ass' in Lebonese.

Ceres: That's the point.

Da Fop::Walks by: Hey! Watch your language.

Ceres: Yeah, Kurama, watch your language!

Kurama: Sorry, bottom is what I meant.

Ceres: Thank you!

Hiei: Hn, you were just munipulated by a lesser demon.

Ceres: F. Y. info-mation, I am an S-class demon, and the last time I looked you were an A-class demon, Rama, your not even a demon anymore. You're just a ningen with amazing spiritual powers.

Hiei: Hn. You are an idiot.

Ceres: Hn. I don't say 'hn' everytime I talk.

Hiei::Opens mouth to say something, when Kurama started crying.: Hn.

Ceres: Hiei, your child is crying.

Hiei: I WASN'T THE ONE WHO CARRIED THEM AROUND FOR NINE MONTHS, THEY'RE YOUR KIDS!

Ceres: NO, THEY'RE AS MUCH MY KIDS AS THEY ARE YOURS. YOU WERE A CAUSE OF THEM AS MUCH AS I WAS.

Hiei: IF I REMEMBER CORRECTLY, YOU WERE THE ONE WHO WANTED IT.

Ceres: UM, NO! IT'S NOT MY FAULT THAT MATING SEASON COMES TWICE A YEAR.

Hiei: YOU IDIOT, REMOVE YOURSELF FROM MALES IF THAT'S WHAT IT IS, ACT LIKE YOUR BROTHER!

Ceres: WANT ME TO BE LIKE MY BROTER? OKAY, I'LL WEAR A TOGA AND REDUCE MYSELF TO AN A-CLASS DEMONS. I'LL STEAL FROM EVERYONE AND ACT LIKE A TOTAL IDIOT AND A POSEUR! IS THAT THE KIND OF MATE YOU WANT?

Hiei: YOU IDIOT, IF THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT THEN GO AHEAD.

Da Fop: Ohh, a lovers' spat, I'll have Ceres, yet!

Kurama: CERES, HIEI, STOP THIS, YOU GUYS ARE WAKING UP HITOMI!

Hiei: Hn, onna, take care of your kids.

Ceres: You... I ...I ... Hate you.

Hiei: Hn.

Ceres: I want a divorce.

Hiei: It's already done, then.

Ceres: Leave my house.

Hiei: No, I won't.

Ceres: F-ing jack-a. You better get out of my house before I f-ing kill you!  
Sorry to interrupt this programe, but we are having a few technical problems (and problems with a foul mouth.) And now back to the show.

Hiei: Fine, if that's what you want, then I'll kill you before you kill me.

Ceres: You better not, or I'll impale you!

Hiei: Hn, bring it on, Biotch!

And thus begins the battle to the death between Ceres adn her Mate, as the children cry in the background.


	23. New Heirs to Demon World

**6 Heir to demon word**

**Disclaimer: Um… Like I've said before, we own nothing. Now just read… and remember to review.**

**Here is where some stuff happened on the internet, AIM, which will be lost to the internet for the rest of… um… eternity? Maybe. Okay, so what happened was, Ceres was possessed by the spirit of the vengeful spirit of the tiger, Kisa was killed. And Akuzmi and Ceres begin to destroy the spirits of the vengeful spirits. Um, I think that was all the rping that went on. Oh, and Ceres and Hiei kinda got back together… kinda.**

**! We open to a scene where Akuzmi is frantically typing at her Grandmother's computer. She is currently mumbling things under her breath that sound very similar to 'I'm gonna kill that toddler freak' and 'he should be in pacifier's anonymous' and 'MONKEYS!'. Why are we opening up to a scene like this? I have nooooo clue.!**

Youko: Hmmm, I wonder if this would be a good time to ask.

Akuzmi: Ya know, I can hear you.

Youko: Right.

Akuzmi: slightly irritated 'cuz her grandparents' computer is acting up So, Youko, what do you want from me now?

Youko: NO much…

Akuzmi: Coming from you, that means a lot.

Youko: It's such a small thing…

Akuzmi: Like?

Youko: And only one…

Akuzmi: not really listening and continues to type

A child…

Akuzmi: storps typing, looks up and stares at Youko with a 'what in the 7 hecks did you just say?' type of look.

Youko: not liking look Uh… Well… ugh…

Akuzmi:still staring

Youko: fidgets and blushes

Akuzmi: Why?

Youko: Uh,.. I thought that would be kinda obvious…

Akuzmi: Does this have to do with the fact that Hiei and Ceres had two kids and Hika married Seshie?

Youko: And ;cuz Ceres wants us to get together… and that… and … Spinster…

Akuzmi: And the great Youko Kurama, Master Thief, is being intimidated by his younger sister? Wow. That's sad with a capital 'S'.

Youko: Uh…

silence

Akuzmi: I believe in marriage, not mating. continues typing

Youko: What are you typing?

Akuzmi: My report to that pacifier sucking twerp about my job thus far.

Youko: Sooo how do you like your job?

Akuzmi: Except for the fact that my boss is a baby, Yamma's always on vacation, the crazies are mad that I'm not a seductive slut, the pacifier-addict keeps 'forgetting' to mail me my pay checks and Akito's onmy case now… Just dandy.

Youko: That's nice.

Akuzmi: Yep. I need a hug. Really badly

hug

Youko: Soo about that child-

Akuzmi: Not interested. Nice try, though, I'll give you credit for that.

YoukoL Hm.

Akuzmi Thinks back to night before first day exams

/flashback/

Akuzmi: What is the result of a stimulus effecting an orgaism in some way?

Ceres: Um…

Akuzmi: tries to help Ceres get the answer Alright… Youko's never on his best, what?

Ceres: Girl?

Akuzmi: O.O EWWWWW! NO! PERVERT!

Ceres: laughing her head off

Akuzmzi: I think I'm gonna be sick.

Ceres Laughing

Akuzmi: Laughing. (laughing and yawning. The 2 most contagious things. And smiles too.)

More laughing

Akuzmi: Who is Youko's best girl?

Ceres: You?

Akuzmi: Now, I'm really gonna be sick!

/End Flashback/

Akuzmi laughing to herself Youko's never on his best… girl! laughs so hard she gets hiccups.

Youko: I don't see what's so funny.

Akuzmi: Hic Shut hup.

Youko: Chuckles

Akuzmi: that was a funny yet educational evening.

Youko: So that's why you were laughing so much that night. You were talking about… me. pouts You were making fun of me.

Akuzmi: hiccups are gone No! It wasn't like that, Youko! I was trying to help Ceres Remember the definition for behaivior. She just said 'girl' cuz it was the first thing that came to her mind.

Youko: Hn. Cold Shoulder

Akuzmi: Aw, Youko. Please don't be that way.

Youko: More cold shoulder

Akuzmi: Freezing at this point due to cold attitude Aww. Youko, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have laughed. Please forgive me.

Youko: More cold shoulder

Akuzmi: Youko-chan, puts hand on his shoulder, but is shrugged off by Youko

Youko: Hn.

Akuzmi: Youko.. Please talk to me. I miss your pervy comments.

Youko: I'm not a pervert. Its your stupid fanfitctions that say I'm a pervert.

Akuzmi: Alright. I'm sorry for calling you perverted… every single 3,399, 275 times.

Youko: That many, huh? That's gonna take a lot of brown nosing to make me wanna talk to you again. leaves

Akzumi: Aww, I messed up big time.

Mukuro: Yes, you did.

Akuzmi: Mom? What are you ding here?

Mukuro: We're in a bit of trouble back home.

Akuzmi: What kind?

Mukuro: You see, it kinda has to do with an heir to my third of the kingdom.

Akuzmi: What happened to the sole rule of the demorn world after that tournament?

Mukuro: Oh, well he PO'ed all the ex-rulers and subjects, so we all killed him.

Akuzmi: -- Lovely.

Mukuro: So now they won't let me be the ruler of my third again until I present my heir.

Akuzmi: So, I have to come home and train, yes?

Mukuro: Correct.

Akuzmi: I need to apologize to Youko though and Ceres and I still need to help the rest of the Zodiac.

Mukuro: That will have to wait. No doubt that Yomi will call Ceres back home too. They'll allow us to be rulers again as we have legitimate heirs. And I don't think many demons will be pleased at having two women as rulers. So, my heir will be as strong as possible.

Akuzmi: Mentally and physically.

Mukuro: Yes.

Akuzmi: Do I have to wear a dress?

Mukuro: Depends.

Akuzmi: On what?

Mukuro: ON whether or not I think you;ll do well as my heir.

Akuzmi: Joy.

Muikuro: Sarcasm is not becoming of a young lady.

Akuzmi: Who said I was a lady?

Mukuro: smiles Yep, you'll be perfect as my heir.

Akuzmi: Judging how you're my mom, yea, I would hope so.

Mukuro: Be back in 24 hours, No exceptions. If your not home by then I'll send Shigure (the guy who implanted Hiei's jagan eye) to come and fetch you.

Akuzmi: Yes ma'am.

Mukuro: poofs away

Youko listening the whole time from behind the door, you would have thought ma or I would have heard him…

Akuzmi: sigh I better pack and say bye to Ceres and Youko. I hope he isn't still mad at me… I hate mom's training… almost died that one time… stupid pointy daggers and guards… they just had to be throwing them at me when I was PMSing… I was sooo pissed.

Youko: chuckles

Akuzmi: huh? walks to door and sees Youko you heard everything, huh?

Youko: stops chuckling, turns around and gives cold shoulder.

Akuzmi: I take it your still mad at me.

No response.

Akuzmi: Well, I have to leave. And I wanted to do so on good terms, it takes 20 hours to get to mom's place you know.

Still no response

Akuzmi: walks around to face Youko, who turns the other way

This continues for a few moments until Akuzmi holds Youko stil and looks him I the eye (very handsome eyes!) XP)

Akuzmi: Youko, I understand that your pissed off atme, but I won't be back here for a long time. And I'll miss you. So please, forgive me so we can leave on good terms. Or just say one thing to me.

Youko: Bi-otch.

Akuzmi: But, I'm your Bi-otch.

Youko: raises eyebrow

Akuzmi: Nope… that's a lie…

Youko: stares at her quizzically (love that word!)

Akuzmi: Sorta… maybe… I DON'T KNOW!

Youko: covers Ears

Akuzmi: Oh, Sorry.

silence

Akuzmi: It will take me 20 hours toe get home and then to only get 4 hours of sleep. I gotta go.

Youko: pretends not to care

Akuzmi: Love you, bye. kisses cheek and leaves for he long pain in the arse training that awaits her

Youko: So… does this mean we'll have that child?

! End!

Akuzmi: INUYASHA! SESHOMARU! GET YOUR HUMAN LOVING ARSSES OVER HERE! PRONTO!

Myoga: Oh, Mistress Akuzmi! I see your back from . .where were you again?

Akuzmi: Idiot,you know all too well where I was.

Myoga: ...

Akuzmi:glares Just bring me my crazy ars brothers now so I can tell them just who the heck I am.

Myoga: Yes, ma'am.

Akuzmi: AND DONT CALL ME MA'AM! That just PO's me.

silently fumes about being forced to tell her relatives who she is

Kagome: Hello Akuzmi! Long time no see!

InuYasha:Not long enough if you ask me.

Kagome: InuYasha!

Akuzmi: There's a reason why nobody asked you, Inu.

Shippo: Inu?

Akuzmi:I see you brought the whole group. Wonderful. Now get lost. 'Cept you Inu, you stay.

Sango: Wow, someone has a real bad case of PMS.

Akuzmi: glares daggers And I have a hand gun, so back off.

Kagome: OO OK let's go! Kagome rushes everyone away

Inu stares Akuzmi

Akuzmi: I don't really have a hand gun.

Seshie comes

Akuzmi: Hello.

Seshie: WHy have you brought me here, AKuzmi? Especially without the Lady Ceres.

Akuzmi: F-ing manwhore! She and I know perfectly well that you've been having an affair with Kagura this whole time!

Inu stares and snickers

AKuzmi: ANd your not off the hook either, Inu. You gotta pick between the dead biotch or the live one so hurry up already!

AKuzmi de-fumes

Akuzmi: much nicer and stuff now I believe you wish to know as to why I have called you both here.

Seshie: Yes, I do but I wish not to be here with my ignorant halfling of a brother.

Inu: ANd I don't wanna be here, period.

Akuzmi: Too bad, because I have laced the air you have been breathing with the element of poison. This poison will keep you from runniong away for thirty mins. thank you, Mukuro!

Inu: BIOTCH!

Akuzmi: You, really shouldn't speak to your superiors like that, ya know.

Inu: Superior? I bet your not even older than me, let alone my superior.

Akuzmi: Are you always this stupid? God, what in the seven hells was dad thinking when he mated a human.

Seshie&Inu: DAD? As in _our _dad?

Akuzmi: Yep.

Inu&Seshie: OO

Seshie: But you are that of teh wolf demon tribe . . .so that means .. .

Inu: Our dad was a whore. . .

Akuzmismacks Inu on the head Show some respect for the dead, it's your fault he died.

Seshie: So, who was your mother?

Akuzmi: A wolf demon by the name of Amara (made her up!). She's Koga's aunt.

Inu: So KOga's ur cousin. But he wanted to . . . you . . .children . . .EWWWW!

Akuzmi: Yes, and I kicked his ars already. Now, please stop with the interruptions. I assume you want to know why I'm telling you now and why you two never knew I existed.

Seshie&Inuwait patiently in silence to hear their crazy sister's tail

Akuzmi: Soooo, when dad was teh lord of teh land to the West he mated and Seshie was born. Then he eventually mateda human and Inu was born. Well, five yrs. into being mated with Seshie's mom, dad got had an affair with a wolf demon. See, wolves and dogs dont mix so I was looked at as worse than a hanyou. Dad felt guilty and left mom to go back to Seshie's mom. Only to three yers later to mate a human.

INu: Dad was a whoe.

Akuzmi: Shut up and allow me to continue. SO I was a Forbidden Child (like Hiei). Dad didn't want the dog demon tribe to know about me, so he left me with mom. However, I was shunned from the wolf demon tribe for being part inu. And mom had to a ton of community service for her sin and yea...well eventually mom got remarried and forgot about me. (boo-hoo! WHy is this so sad? Because it is the only thing that makes sense!)

Seshie: SO, where did you go?

Akuzmi: Once again, shut up. I was an infant. Couldn't even hold my own head up. And I was left alone to fend for myself in the woods. Later that day a woman was walking in the woods and found me. She raised me and took care of me. Mukuro, was my mother from that point on. When we arrived back at her palace, she read my memories of the past dya. She was infuriated by dad's actions and began to plot the end of his rule. She eput this plan in to action when I was six yrs old. (Inu was just born)And from that point on I've been training like a nut.

Inu: ANy thing else?

Akuzmi: Yea, but that stuff doesn't concern you. Oh, except for the fact that I'm to be Mukuro's heir and rule her third of demon world.

Seshie: Wait, your mother, Mukuro, is the same Mukuro who ruled 1/3 of demon world?

AKuzmi: Did I stutter? Yea, its the same Mukuro. That's it. NAd jsut so you know I never slipped you fools poison.

Inu: Hm. But you don't want revenge on either of us, even though you went through all of that.

Seshie: Yes, I woul dod anything to kill InuYasha and I guess you too...but you've been through more than myself...there's no point in killing you.

Akuzmi: Revenge? Heh, thought of it but never did it. It's pointless really. I kill you both, so what? That isn't going to make me loved by either tribe again. If anything I'll be hated even more. Plus, there are better and more important things that I could be doing instead. And I would have never met mom if it hadn't been for the biotchy-ness of wolf demons or the lack of hormonal control father had. So in the end, it worked out-a-OK:D

Gotta go, I'll be missed back home.

walks off a ways but stops and turns around

Akuzmi: OH YEA! Just so you know, the Sounga's mine!

flints back home

Seshie: Darn. I wanted that one. ANd teh tetsaiga.

Inu: Boy, soembody's selfish.

HOME

Akuzmi: Hn, Im tired! And bored. But mostly bored. I know! Let's go read Erik's mind! reads Eriks mind

OO If Ceres knew he was that perverted, she wouldn't keep him around.

YOuko: Hm? WHat? Sorry, could yo repeat that?

Akuzmi: Uh...nothing:D


	24. Hentai Dates and future explinations

**Yawn Once again Ceres must write the disclaimer. "Ceres go kill the baddy." "Ceres go feed the kids" "Ceres go take out the puppy" "Ceres go write the disclaimer!" So, I'll just say it, we don't own a thing. Nada. Niche. Nit. Nein. None. NOTHING! Just go read.**

!Please forgive me for any/all spelling mistakes that are in the e-mail. I actually can't see right now and I'm forced to attempt to write this without looking at the keyboard soooo yeah!

A: Hey there, Ceres! Guess what?

Y: What?

A: I found us "dates" for semi-formal.

Y: I'm taking you and Hiei or Kurama is taking her...so yea she knew that already.

A: -- Uh no, Youko. You see we need to take actually existing male specimen.

Y: I exist in your head, doesn't that count for something?

A: No.

Y: Bummer, so who's taking you in my place.

A: Viktor. Vikki's son. allows Ceres five seconds to stare at computer w. a WTF! look and your going with Matt. (yea, I just decided who you were going with. oh well)

Y: 00

A: yea, it's a looong story. Apparently Mom told Vikki about our semi-formal and Viktor just so happened to be standing right there. Now it just so happened that favor wasn't w/me for our dance is on their spring break...and Viktor apparently _likes _me. So Vikki and Mom plotted to force me to go to the dance of doom w/Viktor and u to go w/Matt. Holds gun to head

Y: DONT KILL YOURSELF! I DONT WANT MY CHILDREN TO DIE!

A: WAIT DONT YOU CARE IF I DIE?

pauses and thinks for a second

A: 00 I'm pregnant? When did this happen? How did this happen? Wait...I know how it happened but I don't know why... HOW IN THE 7 HECKS AM I PREGNENT! glares & stares Youko Youko!

Y: You don't remember?

A: I think I would have remembered that!

Y: Uh-I-uh-- Hehe it's really a funny story...

A: tears up U raped me? starts to cry

Y: No! I would never do that! I was just messing around with you, Akuzmi!

A: Hentai no baka! That was a crappy pun!

Y: slaps self on 4head No! I was only kidding! You're not pregnant! \yet\

A: Eww...hentai no baka! I read your mind! That's nasty!

Y: I can't help it! It's that time of the month!

A: Ur a woman? Ew.. I need some serious therapy!

Y: No! I mean its mating season. That's all.

A: Ugh! Already? I'm not leaving this time, you leave! Wait no, I would be unleashing you upon all the innocents of the world.

Y: grins perversely

A: Eww... I don't even want to think about it

Y: Oh well, looks like your stuck with me for the whole mating season!

A: Ceres, Hiei, Kurama, Erik, Fop ...help ... someone...please...save me! locks self in bedroom and begins to play Dragon Quest VII

DIE DHOULMAGUS! DIEE! NO! ANGELO DIED! AH! JESSICA NOT U 2! NO YANGUS! SHIOT I JUST DIED! DARN YOU, YOU FREAKY JESTER THING!

Y: Knocks on door Akuzmi?

A: Yep?

Y: Can I come in?

A: Nope.

Y: why?

A: CUz

Y: I have sweet snow

A: SO?

Y: From Strickland's

A: Darn you, you evil perverted kitsune... leave the sweet snow at the door and I'll get it after you leave

Y: It'll melt!

A: Duck tape an ice pack to it. Duck tape. Quack.

Y: Aw, Akuzmi! I want to a son real bad!

A: Too bad, I want a daughter any who.

Y: I can settle for a daughter! Please!

A: NO! Great, where's Kuronue? I need him to be on guard tonight for me. I'll even give him the keys to the sweet snow storage freezer for payment.

Y: I could still get in, if I give Kuronue something shiny he'll do whatever I say.

A: -- typical bandit

Y: PLEASE!

A: Nope, I've got polycystic ovaries.

Y: With this hair?

A: Yep.

Y: NO you don't. Ur full of BS

A: I may be or I may not be \Thank God I don't have Polycystic ovaries! and thank God that Youko cant read my mind!\

Y: ...

A: YAY! PEACE AT LAST! NOW DIE DHOULMAGUS!

END

akuzmi walks into house : I'm back from softball practice!

SIlence

A:Hm, let's try this again. walks outside

reenters house ten seconds later I'm back from softball practice!

more silence and crickets chirping

A:Oro? This is strange. KURONUE! WHER ART THOU! KURONUe? I AM IN NEED OF YOUR ASSISTANCE?

K: comes out of no where Yes, AKuzmi?

A: Where is everyone?

K: Well, it's just me, YOuko, and you living together...plus your mother and your crazy pets

A: come on, our cats and dogs aren't that bad

K: I ment your sisters

A: oh

K: Your mother and sisters are at a "science fair", I'm right in front of your face and Youko said something about going to the Makai.

A: AND YOU LET HIM GO?

K: Apparently.

A: IT's _that_ time of the year you baka bat!

K: 00... --;; Lo siento?

A: I don't like the question in ur voice

K: He was just so sad and pitiful looking... he looked like he was gonna cry...

A: WHy do I doubt that?

K: Because your insensitive when it coems to love

A: You mean lust, right?

K: No, I think, yea, this ain't lust, I'm pretty sure, nope it's love.

A: Baka. So where did he go?

K: Probably to our old favorite drinking spot.

A: -- WOnderful, drunks nad pervs. Well, c ya. Kuronue! waves and leaves

At the pub/tavern place in the Makai

Akuzmi enters to a really big bar filled with all kinds of weirdos

A: Eh, peachy. \If I were a depressed drunk male fox in mating season, where would I be?\

Alooks around \with a whore in the back room. Darn you Youko. I don't wanna look for you in the back room w/ a hoe. Darn it! Pervy fox. I wanna monkey. WHere the hell did that come from? Gotta be stress. Let's find Youko w/o going into the backroom w/ the possible hoe.\

Alooks around the room one more time and sees Youko \Thank you God!\

Yhicups

Awalks up behin Youko: Hey there, Youko!

Y: hiccup hi

A: You, ok?

Y: Nope hiccup

A:COme on you, let's go home.

Y: Nope hiccup

A: Why? Come on, we'll order Chinese and watch CSI.

Y: I dont like CSI hiccup

A: Ok, then we'll watch Law and Order or Cops or Dr. 90210... I don't know we'll think of what to watch when we get home puts hand on shoulder come on

Y: shrugs off hand no.

A: YOuko, please tell me what's wrong. I'm in an understanding mood today, take advantage of it.

Y: I want a kid. My little sister has two! Two of them!

A: Adoption.

Y: looks at AKuzmi No hiccup I wanna have achild with you holds habd

Random drunks: AWWWW!

A: roles eyes You're so drunk smiles come on, lets go home.

Y: No, not until you say yes.

A: No, Youko, can't we talk about this later?

Y: No, Now. We talk about this now.

Random drunks sense tension and decide to leave...good choice drunkies

A: Youko-

Y: I even asked you to marry me and you said you'ld have to think about it! It's been over two months!

A: Youko-

Y: And whenever I bring it up you shut the topic down.

A: Youko-

Y: stands up AKuzmi, can't you see I really do care about you? I'm no longer a lustful manslut.

A: TEchnically you never were a manslut.

Y:hugs Akuzmi Please, Akuzmi just think about how you feel and-

A: Yes.

Y: stares at Akuzmi Yes to what?

A: I have decided to marry you. smiles

Y:hug (attack of the hugs!)

A: Can't breathe! Need Oxygen!

Y: lets go Let's go home.

A: Good idea!

AT home

K: Hey Youko, Kauzmi was looking for y--

Y: AKuzmi and I are getting married!

K: 00 FOr real? Awesome!

A: We're not eloping or anything like that coughCerescough

Y: But we'll have kids right?

A: 00 We'll see...

K: You sound like a mom trying to tell her kids no but int he kindest way possible.

A: So then I'm already half-way there to being a good mom!

Y: so you're considering?

A: Considering being hte key word.

K: Cool. So... when will it be?

A: yo no se.

Y: EN ingles por favor.

A?Porque, pero comprendes espanol.

K: I am-o confused-o.

Y: Ello no comprende or habla. ?Esta bien?

A: Si.

K: HELLO!

A: Uh, i dont know...in english please-

K: NOT ALL OF IT!

Y: we don't know when. \soon hopefully\

A: I dont feel like telling Ceres this skewl so as soon as you read this e-mail tell me when you wish to be there

K: Aren't u 2 supposed to pick the date?

A: Nyeck details details!

Y: Crazy onna.

A: That's so mean!

K: That's so funny.

A: Well then laugh fool.

K: Nah..

END

Yo estoy cansado. Voy a ir mi cuarto en dos minutos. Adios y hasta manana.

:In the future, when Ceres' children are old enough to wonder where they came from.:

Hitomi: Where did we come from, mommy?

Ceres: Um... Come here kids, time we have a talk about the birds and the bees. Or more like the Kitsunes and the... disgusting men.

Hitomi: I like birdeys.

Ceres: I knew that, not really. (I'm a really bad mom.) Well, when a man and a woman love each other very much. More like when a man and a woman are in heat. Okay when two Kitsunes are in heat. No, when one kitsune is in heat. Okay, really when daddys are in heat.

Hiei: Ceres, what are you teaching the kids?

Ceres: Where they came from.

Hiei: Ceres, um. I think Koenma's calling you.

Ceres: Nuh uh.

Hiei: Ceres. Exit Stage left.

Ceres: My mother thanx you, my father thanks you, my sister thanks you and I thank you. :Leaves with Hiei:

Hitomi: Did you understand that Kurama?

Kurama: (JR. of course you dummy.) I think mommy was saying that we came when uncle Youko was horny. (CN: The point that Uncle Youko was horny so was mommy, because it's mating season and all.)

Hitomi: That sounds about right.

Ha! God that must have been the funniest thing I've ever heard! Now on with Youko's attempt to explain the birds and da bees!

:In zee future when Kuronue (Jr.) is old enough to learn abou tbirds and bees:

Kuronue: Hey dad?

Youko: Hm?

Kuronue: Where do babies come from?

Youko: 0.0 WHAT! Why don't you ask your mommy that question?

Kuronue: She said to ask you.

Youko: -- Figures. baka onna.

:Akuzmi off in some random place sneezes:

Kuronue??

Youko: Well it all begins with a big bird and--

Kuronue: No, daddy, where do babies _really_ come from?

Youko: Well. . . when a mommy and a daddy really love each other they. . .uh . . .get drunk and . . . uh . . .

Kuronue (Senior): What are you trying to teach your kid?

Youko: Where babies come from

Kuronue sr: 0.0 well there's this big bird and--

Kuronue: You guys don't know much about this stuff do you?

Kuronue sr and Youko: Nope.

Kuronue: Ok.

:Akuzmi comes home: HELLO!

Kuronue: Mommy!

Akuzmi: Hey there, squirt!

Kuronue: Where do babies come from?

Akuzmi: I thought daddy was going to tell you.

Kuronue: He doesn't know.

Akuzmi: Oh, he doesn't does he::glares death daggers Youko:

Kuronue??

Akuzmi: Well uh...when kitsune demons are in heat... and mating season...or is it mostly the heat's fault...or was it mating season's? Hm.. anyway, when a kitsune gets very hor-

Youko: LET'S SING A SONG! OH, IF YOUR HAPPY AND YOU KNOW IT CLAP YOUR HANDS::leaves room w/Kuronue sr.:

Akuzmi: I better go make dinner...

Kuronue: So...::thinks about all that he has been "taught":

When foxies get frisky, babies are made... ok. works for me!

:Ceres walks downstairs, not wearing the lingere (SP, I kno) that Hiei had gotten her for no apparent reason.:

Ceres: Guess what day next Saturday is!

Hiei: 6 days after Easter.

Ceres: Nooo.

Fop: A Saturday ( - no knowledge as to what's going on whatsoever.)

Ceres: Nooo.

Kurama: Um, the 22nd?

Ceres: Yeah, that, but what happens on the 22nd of April every year?

Erik: Ohh, I know this one... EARTH DAY?

Ceres: Yes, and no.

Hiei: Hn. This is stupid.

Ceres: MY BIRTHDAY!

Fop: Really? I didn't know that!

Ceres: I know. And you know what we should do for it?

Erik: Have a party?

Ceres: Exactly. So this is the plan. After the double headers, we shall all go to one of three places for cake and ice cream (me, the softball team, and family. With a few select others.)

Kurama: What three places?

Ceres: Donatos, because their pizza is good. My daddy's, not Yomi's because he's dead, and I don't think we want to send humans unprotected to the demon plane after playing a game of softball. Or Akuzmi's, because it's closer to the baseball feild and I highly doubt people would like squeezing into my apartment.

Hiei: Onna, does Akuzmi know that her house may be in the running?

Ceres: Nope! It was my human mommie's plan!

Hiei: Hn. Idiots all of them.

Ceres: Hiei, honey. Can you check on Hitomi and Kurama for me?

Hiei: Why?

Ceres: Because I said so!

Hiei: Hn. :Walks away:

Ceres: So, Kurama, what are you getting me for my birthday?

Kurama: Well, I was planning on getting you a bouquet of roses.

Ceres: Well, a'int that sweet? How bout a playstation 2?

Kurama: If that's what you want then okay!

Ceres: Thanky, your a doll.

**Well, this is an awkward place to stop but I'm out of ideas, and I really have to go pee. Luv Yuns! Ceres (8 more days!)**

Akuzmi:blinks at Computer: YAY! My house is in the running! Wait, not 'yay my house is in the running!'

Youko: Yes, yay because there'll be a par-tay!

Akuzmi: Don't ever attempt at rhyming again. Leave it to professionals.

Kouga: But it'll be fun!

Akuzmi: Wait, what are you doing here Kouga?

Kouga: I found out I really wasn't your cousin, so I came to ask your hand in marriage. . . again.

Akuzmi: awkwardly silent

Youko: No, she can't 'cuz she's . . .

:at this moment lil' Kuronue crawls in:

(remember he's a black-colored kitsune)

Kouga: Hey, Akuzmi! You bore me a child after all!

Akuzmi: 00 NO! WE NEVER DID _THAT_! I NEVER EVEN CONSIDERED _THAT_! EWWWWW! HENTAI WOLF!

Youko: Kouga?

Kouga: Yea, kitsune

Youko: That's _my_ son.

Kouga::finally clicks ... sorta: YOU RAPPED AKUZMI!

Akuzmi: 00 -- baka

Youko: I WOULD NEVER DO SUCH A DISGRACEFUL

THING!

Akuzmi: yea, it was volunatry..

Youko&Kouga: . . .

Akuzmi: That sounded weird didn't it?

YOuko&Kouga: Yep.

Akuzmi: Thought so. :turns to Kouga: YOuko's my husband, Kouga.

Kouga::tears up then gets PO'ed: FINE! When the tribe banishes you for loving a kitsune, don't come crying to me!

AKuzmi: I won't. Besides, I no longer associate to that tribe. As you may not recall, I was kicked out of it before. So there::kicks Kouga out of house:

Youko: Kuronue's hungry.

Akuzmi: SO feed him.

YOuko: Ok.

Akuzmi: I;m surrounded by idiots. -- And I like it:)

that was stupid and random...and off topic..and dinner's ready buh-bye! (3 months and 9 days)


	25. Tuesday Mornings and Chicken BWAK BWAK

**Disclaimer: WE don't own Tuesday Mornings or the Chinese Restaurant or Wednesday Afternoons. (It's hard to spell Wednesday).**

::Our story starts at Chino Gardens, a Chinese restaurant that sells hamburgers. Akuzmi, Ceres, and their red-headed friend/ partner in crime… the human type, Shirley, were seated at a table gather'ed with various (Adj for) thief overlords, eating crappy Chinese food and hamburgers (okay; only Shirley was eating a hamburger.).

The trio found the need to introduce themselves as the overlords were curious as to why a gaggle of young women were seated at their table, the table reserved for "Big time thieves who can kick your butt any day". Prior to their arrival, the trio agreed to keep the guise of hyper active young adolescent women who enjoyed volleyball with a passion.

"Hi! I'm Shirley Temple, I'm usually in the back row," Shirley introduced herself and identified her position in the volleyball game the overlords had the divine pleasure of viewing before the meal.

"Ceres Jaganshi-Minamino, front row," Ceres introduced herself also indicating her position.

"Akuzmi Kurama, spectator."

The overlords stared at the girls, clearly thinking them insane. They weren't far off in that assumption.

"In speaking of crazy-ness and insanity," Ceres remarked upon the authoress' dictation, "A person who freely admits that they are crazy is actually normal. But if you don't admit that you're crazy, then you're crazy."

"Uh, Ceres?" Shirley asked Ceres slightly nudging her, "You're not supposed to say that line until _after_ we leave."

"Oh," Ceres looked blankly at her orange chicken.

"You know, my orange chicken doesn't look very orange," she commented on the brown sauce covered substance that lay before her on her plate.

"Yea, mine kinda looks orange," Akuzmi commented on her sweet and sour chicken.

"Mine looks like hers but with pepper," one of the overlords commented on her general tsos chicken.

Ceres poked her chopsticks into the overlord's chicken (BWAK BWAK) and tasted it.

"When you put it that way, you make me sound rude," Ceres, once again, commented on the dictation.

Ok, fine then: The overlord offered Ceres a taste of her chicken. _Then_ Ceres poked her chicken and took a bite.

"Hm, it does taste that way," Ceres agreed with the overlord. Well, come to think of it, she is a 'she' so she would be an overlordess. Hm...stupid titles and their difficulty in typing and whatnot.

Afterwards the trio (as well as the overlords and overlordesses, it's actually overlady, but oh well) ate contently. That was because, as one of the overlords had mentioned, once the food comes out everyone shuts up. After eating and fortune cookies, which as of late have become 'advice cookies' and Ceres and Akuzmi got the same one about 'controlling your destiny' and 'banana,' the table cleared out. Akuzmi and Ceres, as well as one of the overlords, went to a store called Tuesday Morning.

"I like Tuesdays," said Akuzmi in a weird interpretation of South Park's fat kid whose name we cannot remember.

"I know that, but today is a Wednesday Afternoon, should we be going to a store that's functional only on Tuesday Mornings?"

"If it's only functional on a Tuesday Morning, then why can we go into it on a Wednesday Afternoon?" Akuzmi questioned while watching Ceres type.

"Good point," Ceres mentioned deflatedly. "Oh well!! I'm a balloon, that just got popped. Anywho…odles, on with the story, tale, recollection…. Of madness and monkeys."

The duo + overlord (There was a plus, if it gets deleted) strolled into Tuesday Morning. While doing such Akuzmi made the stupid comment of "I wonder if I can buy a Tuesday here?"

Then the dou – overlord…lady…thing found themselves in the haven of childhood doom…with Duracell batteries a.k.a. toy aisle of evilness and doom.

They were approached by a young human (unfortunately we're in the nigenkai… ).

"He looked about six," Ceres commented since Akuzmi's memory was failing her….badly….as were her typing skills.

"We should probably add 'boy'," Akuzmi went back and edited.

They were approached by a young human (unfortunately we're in the nigenkai… ) boy.

He gestured to the car and dummy thingy in that box he was holding.

"This dummy flies outta the car when it hits…walls," he said.

"Oh really?" The duo said in unison.

He nodded eagerly.

"Well I wouldn't know since I don't have too many walls," Ceres commented.

_You're supposed to say something about seat belts are good, dumb arse._ Akuzmi thought.

"How many walls do you have?" the little ningen asked.

"Two."

The boy paused for a moment, "You have to have more walls than that."

"You're right, I have four. I thought it was: one, three, four, two," Ceres counted on her fingers.

The boy stared at her, threw his head back, sighed in exasperation asd walked off.

"Don't be a dummy, wear a seatbelt so you don't go flying out the car," Akuzmi commented to the boy's back.

He obviously didn't care, seeing as he stalked off.

"I was the funny one, he didn't care about the morals," Ceres stated, reminiscing on the happenings of only hours before.

Ceres and Akuzmi started laughing hysterically.

_Much more madness ensued that day, but I'm too lazy to type it out. We'll just leave your minds to soar, but I'll give you some hints. The day contained Wizards, Parody Bands, Wizard Rock, Muggles, T-Shirts, Helium, and a guy in a baby T-Shirt. Then add a bunch of cosplayers and a Harry Potter cosplayer who couldn't keep his eyes off of Ceres and you have the rest of our day. Well, I'm going to go do something, so bye! Hope you enjoyed the entirely random and stupid chapter about what happened today._

_::Youko walks up:: Why is it that when we're not in the story you write in full sentences. And why'd you leave the kids with me???_

_Ceres: because you're my older and responsible brother, and I'd rather you look after my children than the fop. Everyone else had "mysteriously" gotten sick or "had something else to do"._

_Hiei: Hn, you were a last resort, baka Kitsune._

_Ceres: Go away!_


	26. The Challenge

**These are two titles all of you fans of Anime and Email can look out for, it's going to explain a butt load. I spammed this over all of mine and Akuzmi's normal haunts, Gaiaonline, email, Myotaku, Deviantart… let's just hope that one of these places get to her before the night's over. Lol. I'm going to go and start now… but like I mention below, I've got two other titles in the works. And I'm not promising how often it will be updated, I'm learning Chinese at college this summer and then I'm writing a novel next year… hopefully Akuzmi will be better than I am, but if I remember correctly, she starting a new title soon as well. Well, this is the challenge… and maybe with all of they hype I'm putting behind this, it will get a lot of readers and we'll write it more often than everything else that I've written.**

**Akuzmi, if you end up reading this: THIS IS A CHALLENGE!! Our mission this year is to write out the unspoken truths of our pasts so that those who read "ANIME AND EMAIL JUST DON'T MIX" will be able to understand a lot more of it. We must write out what happens to us, starting from any point in our life stories (because if your like me, you've most likely done more stuff in your life as time went by). Then email the chapters to me, to keep you from deleting them prematurely and to keep the two stories together. Titles: The Truth Behind Why Email and Anime Don't Mix: Akuzmi Edition and The Truth Behind Why Email and Anime Don't Mix: Ceres Edition. I'll most likely do my signature flashback style, mostly because I feel more comfortable working backwards with what I know most definitely. You can write it is sequential order, from when we met or when you were born or whatever… but I'm starting in Anatolia… I don't know if that would make it a flash back story, but there's a rip in the time space continuum… that's the only way how my history is going to be told in an understandable way.**

**I challenge you, starting now. I'm going to write my part and post it on Fanfic as soon as possible… I'm also attempting to finish "Hiei Goes to School" and do a sequel before Junior year is over… let's hope this works out. Here's to hoping. But you better get your pen and you computer ready for the trip of a lifetime… or 5… because that's what this is going to be! Hope your up to the challenge, because I think that Anime and Email will make a lot more sense after this.**

**Love you bunches!!**

**Ceres.**


End file.
